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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS HOW MANY TOURISTS
VISIT
Wrong verb form
VISITED
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 A CARIBBEAN ISLAND FROM 2010 TO 2017.
OVERALL
Linking Words
,
IT IS CLEAR THAT
Linking Words
 THE
VISITORS
Use synonyms
BOTH
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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STAYING ON CRUISE SHIPS AND
ISLAND
Fix the agreement mistake
ISLANDS
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 INCREASED SIGNIFICANTLY
INCREASED
Verb problem
apply
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THROUGHOUT THE PERIOD. THE NUMBER OF TOTALS WAS 1
MILLION
Use synonyms
 AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PERIOD, IT INCREASED
CONTINOUSLY
Correct your spelling
CONTINUOUSLY
 AND REACHED 3.5
MILLION
Use synonyms
VISITORS
Use synonyms
 IN 2017. TURNING TO OTHER CATEGORIES,
VISITORS
Use synonyms
 WHO STAYING ON CRUISE SHIPS WERE WELL BELOW 0.5
MILLION
Use synonyms
. IT WITNESSED A PERIOD OF FLUCTUATION,
THEN
Linking Words
 INCREASED AGAIN, HITTING ITS HIGHEST POINT 2
MILLION
Use synonyms
 IN 2017.
Correct article usage
THE NUMBERS
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NUMBERS
Fix the agreement mistake
NUMBER
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FOR
Change preposition
OF
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VISITORS
Use synonyms
 STAYING ON
ISLAND
Correct article usage
THE ISLAND
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STARTE
Correct your spelling
STARTED
 FROM APPROXIMATELY 0.7
MILLION
Use synonyms
, IT STAYED CONSTANT UNTIL 2011.
THEN
Linking Words
 IT INCREASED STEADILY AND REACHED A PEAK OF 1.5
MILLION
Use synonyms
VISITORS
Use synonyms
. IT HAD A DROP IN 2016 AND IT FOLLOWED BY A RISE IN 2017.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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