IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep What are problems caused by lack of sleep? What can be done about this lack of sleep?

#people #difficulties #lack
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common issue in the modern world is
lack
Use synonyms
 of sleep, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 saying that. The possible reason would be a
lack
Use synonyms
 of physical activities and running social media a
lot
Use synonyms
. Having a daily routine can solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
. Sleep can cause a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 often
lack
Use synonyms
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
sleep.
Lack
Use synonyms
 of physical activity is one of the main problems.
For example
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 information technology era,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to work by sitting all day long which is why they do not have physical activities.
Lack
Use synonyms
 of physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 causes a
lack
Use synonyms
 of sleep.
Moreover
Linking Words
, running the social
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 is another cause of
lack
Use synonyms
 of sleep.
For example
Linking Words
, research shows that
people
Use synonyms
 use their phones a
lot
Use synonyms
 by using social media and
this
Linking Words
 high amount of screen use is caused
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
lack
Use synonyms
 of sleep. Every
problem
Use synonyms
 has its own solution.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 possible solution would be to maintain a daily routine.
People
Use synonyms
 often say they do not have enough time to
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise and follow
proper
Add an article
a proper
show examples
 diet. But, if they make a daily routine and a proper diet chart for a few months
then
Linking Words
 they will overcome
this
Linking Words
lack
Use synonyms
 of sleep.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan, every school make a daily routine for students so they will follow that when they go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study, when go to exercise and when sleep. If our body can cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
this
Linking Words
 type of routine
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 can be solved. In conclusion, in
this
Linking Words
 era,
people
Use synonyms
 often say that they are not having enough sleep.
Lack
Use synonyms
 of exercise would be a possible reason and running
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media a
lot
Use synonyms
 may be another issue for
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
. To solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can set a daily routine and follow it strictly.
Submitted by haidher301 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression and structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should clearly contribute to answering the question and build upon the previous points.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the response.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensively cover the topic of sleep deprivation, contributing to a complete task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: