IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings #ones
As we know the old building is the mine Structure of the modern Arctic , It is the statement for our Culture and it
reflect
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reflects
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 the way we think and see the world ,
For
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apply
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the modern
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 cutting edge look and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sharp edges , And they didn’t relate to each other and
dose
Correct your spelling
does
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 not Belong to the same school ,
For
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From
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 my point of view
for
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to
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 what
extend
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extent
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 I agree or disagree , It Soli
depended
Wrong verb form
depends
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 on what the old building
represent
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represents
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and
Correct word choice
whether
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 is it more Sustainable to keep that building and
is
Correct word choice
whether is
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 it cost Efficient , And if it
have
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has
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 any other unfueled value like clutter and national pride in it , IF so one of our Duty is to keep those building and our heritage , For the modern building and modern design schools I am not that keen with there approach for resident houses they are always focusing on the production cost and the Margin of profit usually that approach led to soul’s houses and luck of soul the represent it self in the for of an art . In a nutshell
Add a comma
,
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I am
more keen
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keener
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 on agreeing with
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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old
Add an article
the old
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building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 and keeping the Identity of the city
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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then
Replace the word
than
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make
Wrong verb form
making
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 it
soulless
Correct article usage
a soulless
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 Commercial city.
Submitted by broof.a1993 on

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task achievement
The essay lacks a clear and direct thesis statement in the introduction that sets the stage for what the argument will be. Work on establishing a clear position early on.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Provide explanations or evidence to back up why certain old buildings should be preserved over others.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your points in a more logical order, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or argument that ties back to the main thesis. This will help improve the overall logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
You effectively emphasize the cultural and historical importance of old buildings, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a general structure with an introduction and a conclusion, showing an awareness of essay organization.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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