Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool. To what extent do you agree with this?

Nowadays, more and more children like to
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
television
instead
of reading books. Some people think it is not good, because as a learning
tool
book is much better than
television
. But for
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
I disagree with it.
First,
television
also
can be a good
tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
tool
show examples
for learning.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
television
, there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
different kinds of
progamme
Correct your spelling
programme
programmes
, some
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
for entertainment, but
also
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
some
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
is for
Verb problem
to
show examples
provide
imformation
Correct your spelling
information
.
Such
as some
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
talk about health. It will show how
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people get sick, when they are sick what they
are look
Change the verb form
look
show examples
like, and they
invient
Correct your spelling
invite
a
dotocer
Correct your spelling
doctor
to say what the illness
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to focus
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
how to be better. There are a lot of talk
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
, we can
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
know
Verb problem
apply
show examples
about how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
show examples
think in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society now.
Teletvision
Correct your spelling
Television
can bring
the imformationwith
Replace the word
information
show examples
vision and sound it can
more easy
Correct word choice
make it easier
show examples
to let the audience know
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what it
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to talk about. So,
television
also
can be a
god
Correct your spelling
good
show examples
tool
for learning too. But
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
may
said
Change the verb form
say
show examples
books
more
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
better because it is born
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as a learning
tool
. But is it true?
Book
Fix the agreement mistake
Books
show examples
can be a learning
tool
, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
also
can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
for entertainment.
Some
Change preposition
In some
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
such
as novels, comics ,and mangas, it
hard
Add a missing verb
is hard
show examples
to say they are learning
tools
. Just like
television
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
different
progammes
Correct your spelling
programmes
, books
also
have
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
types.
Tools
are
tools
the main point of
tools
always is how people
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
use them but not the
tools
are what.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your argument is presented clearly at the beginning and referred back to in the conclusion to create a cohesive essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas across paragraphs and within them, enhancing the flow of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points further with more specific examples or explanations to support your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay attempts to address the task by presenting a viewpoint regarding television as a learning tool compared to books.
Coherence and Cohesion
There's an effort to organize the essay into an introduction and body paragraphs, which demonstrates awareness of essay structure.
Task Achievement
The essay discusses various types of television programs, showing the writer's ability to generate ideas relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!