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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar chart illustrates the salt intake of males and females in different age groups in an European country in the year 2019.

The given bar chart illustrates the salt intake of males and females in different age groups in an European country in the year 2019.
#bar #salt #intake #males #females #age #groups #european #country #year
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The given bar chart illustrates the
salt
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
 of males and
females
Use synonyms
 in different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in a European country in the year 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 of the majority
age
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 groups surpassed the limit of recommended daily
salt
Use synonyms
intake
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.
Both
Use synonyms
 males and
females
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 started to increase their
intake
Use synonyms
 of
salt
Use synonyms
 with their
age
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, and after a certain point of their
age
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, they started decreasing the
salt
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intake
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, and
men
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 took more
salt
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 than
women
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. At the
age
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 of 2-5,
both
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men
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 and
women
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 took
salt
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 below the recommended
intake
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, which was 1700
mg
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 per
day
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 for
men
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 and 1400
mg
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 for
women
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. From the
age
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6
Change preposition
of 6
show examples
-11,
both
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 males and
females
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 started surpassing the limit of recommendation, which was 2300
mg
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. At
their
Change the word
the
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of 30-39,
men
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 and
women
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 took 5100
mg
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 and 4900
mg
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 per
day
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 respectively which are the highest. After the
age
Use synonyms
 range of 30-39, people started reducing
salt
Use synonyms
 consumption, and at
their
Change the word
the
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of 60-69,
men
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 and
women
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 consumed around 4100
mg
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 and 3000
mg
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salt
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 per
day
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 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
salt
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 consumption was still above the daily recommended
intake
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 except
females
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 at their
age
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 above 70
consume
Wrong verb form
consumed
show examples
 2000
mg
Use synonyms
salt
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
, which was ideal for them.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salt, intake, females, age, both, men, women, mg, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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