Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out weight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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While
working outside their workplace allows people to complete their
tasks
, I personally believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it hinders their
health
because
employees
work
extra
hours
. Information technology allows people to complete their
tasks
after the designated working
hours
. If
employees
have
work
pressure in their
office
, they can complete their
tasks
outside their
office
. It
also
helps them to minimize their workloads at
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
.
For example
, these days, multinational companies have a huge
work
pressure in their
office
, and
therefore
,
employees
come home and log in to their computers to complete their extra
tasks
.
However
, I personally believe that working after designated
hours
is not good for
health
. If
employees
work
extra
hours
, it hinders their physical and mental
health
. Some
employees
work
10 to 12
hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day because information technology allows them to complete their
tasks
after
office
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
.
As a result
, they suffer from various physical and mental complications
such
as lack of sleep, depression, anxiety, and obesity.
For example
, many
employees
in Bangladesh sustain depression because they have to
work
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
2
hours
in their homes after their
office
.
Therefore
, I personally believe that working extra
hours
is harmfully impacting their
health
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction for a stronger argument.
task response
Consider balancing the discussion by acknowledging potential benefits more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Conclude by summarizing your main points and restating the thesis for better cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow.
task response
The essay offers relevant examples that support the main argument, adding depth to the discussion.
task response
You clearly articulate your personal viewpoint, making the essay engaging and focused.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of paragraphs aids in delivering the main ideas effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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