IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing.

There is a widely spread opinion that governments should take a huge part of citizen’s
money
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
state necessaries
such
Linking Words
roads
Change preposition
as roads
show examples
 and schools. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 there are supporters of the idea of low
taxes
Use synonyms
. Probably,
such
Linking Words
 a controversial position could be connected to a fear of trustful
money
Use synonyms
 management in governments. Obviously, some people prefer
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
to have bigger amounts of
money
Use synonyms
 and to
diversificate
Correct your spelling
diversify
 them
according to
Linking Words
 their priorities, and another part is ready to contribute more
taxes
Use synonyms
 and receive quality conditions of their living.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the part of people who stay with
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
show examples
 that it should
be taken
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 a big portion of their incomes are mostly liberal and wealthy taxpayers. Their main idea is a personal responsibility
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when especially from you depends on your local infrastructure and public services.
For example
Linking Words
, in some European
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 system was already implemented, where the percentage of investments in regions or cities was mostly taken from extra payments from salaries. Actually, it is sometimes efficient, because the bigger
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 is in the city with bigger
taxes
Use synonyms
, the bigger
profit
Correct article usage
the profit
show examples
 receives
all
Change preposition
from all
show examples
developments
Correct article usage
the developments
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 town, like public transport, social care benefits
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. Another point to consider, those who are
contra
Change preposition
against
show examples
this
Linking Words
 vision say that it would have a bad impact on the net income of civilians. Especially, would be very vulnerable disadvantaged citizens from a poor category.
This
Linking Words
 extra portion could be used for urgent needs like food, accommodation and medicine.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is already a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 bunch of
taxes
Use synonyms
, which are paid by a normal human
such
Linking Words
 as local
taxes
Use synonyms
, health and social care payments, road fees for car owners,
Correct word choice
and pensions
show examples
pensions
Change the noun form
pension
show examples
 contributions.
Finally
Linking Words
, there is no clear answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue, it is quite dependent on especially situation and country. My point is that
should
Correct pronoun usage
there should
show examples
 exist a golden middle,
in other
Linking Words
words
Add the comma(s)
words,
show examples
a progressive tax systems
Correct the article-noun agreement
progressive tax systems
a progressive tax system
show examples
, where vulnerable segments of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 would be freed from extra payments,
however
Linking Words
 as
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
is
Verb problem
becomes
show examples
 richer, as more he would pay
necessary
Change preposition
for necessary
show examples
 public services.

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coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, especially when discussing different countries' taxation systems.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures and using more complex sentences to enhance clarity and development of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
You have presented a clear introduction, discussing both viewpoints on government taxation.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion provides a balanced view, recognizing the complexity of the issue and suggesting a middle ground via progressive taxation.
task achievement
You mentioned different perspectives and some real-world references, such as European countries implementing specific tax systems.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion of salary
  • Necessary public services
  • Economic growth
  • Quality of life
  • Redistributing wealth
  • Discourage
  • Motivation and productivity
  • Favorable tax conditions
  • Infringement on personal freedom
  • Balanced approach
  • Progressive tax system
  • Economic activity
  • Financial growth
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