What's the right age for parents to get their kids a cell phone? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, many parents give their
children
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mobile
phones
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at an early age.
However
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, introducing
phones
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at an inappropriate age can lead to serious problems,
such
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as addiction to technology and negative effects on brain development, especially for
children
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aged 3 to 5. On one hand, excessive phone usage has many harmful effects on
children
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.
For example
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, it can negatively impact their education, as they may spend more
time
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playing games or watching YouTube
instead
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of studying.
Additionally
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, extended screen
time
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can damage their eyesight, leading to weak vision and the need for glasses. These issues often arise when
children
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are given
phones
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too early. The ideal age to allow
children
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to use
phones
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is between 12 and 15 years old, as they are mature enough to understand how to use them responsibly and recognize their disadvantages,
such
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as poor eyesight or reduced productivity.
On the other hand
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, there are effective solutions
for
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to
show examples
this
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problem. Parents should engage with their
children
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, especially between the ages of 5 and 7, by teaching them numbers, letters, and creative activities like puzzles.
Such
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activities can enhance their mental skills and reduce their reliance on screens.
Additionally
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, spending quality
time
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together,
such
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as dancing or playing games, can strengthen family bonds and keep
children
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entertained without mobile
phones
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. In conclusion,
while
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mobile
phones
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are important, parents must delay introducing them to
children
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and
instead
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focus on spending
time
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with them to foster healthy development and creativity.
Submitted by rihas89s on

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task achievement
While the essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, consider expanding on some of your points with more detailed examples or statistics. This would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay, but ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You may want to use more connecting words and phrases to achieve this.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the task by discussing both potential problems and possible solutions regarding children having mobile phones.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the tone for the essay and the conclusion aptly summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with reasons and examples, which help in making the argument convincing.

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