Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoo while others think that zoo are both entertainment and fun, discuss both the views and give Ur opinions.
There are different opinions as to the
zoos
; while
some think that zoos
contribute to people's recreation positively, the rest believe that capturing animals
is a wrongdoing. Although
observing animals
both
educative and enjoyable for individuals, from my standpoint, keeping them in restricted places is against their Add a missing verb
is both
nature
.
It is undeniable that most people broaden their perspective about nature
by the presence of zoos
. Including various species, such
places provide opportunity
to watch Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
animals
in
close range. With the exception of the safari tours, there is no way to encounter some of them. Change preposition
at
Moreover
, due to
the funny nature
of the
most Correct article usage
apply
animals
, spending time with them can unplug individuals from everyday life. In addition
to being enjoyable activity
, Fix the agreement mistake
activities
zoos
are excellent establishments to educate youngsters about the members of nature
. Not only do children have a good time by encountering them but also
they are able to learn animals
' features in person.
However
, since animals
require open spaces or jungles to live in, capturing them might be considered as
inhumane. Take elephants as an example. They need more than ten square Change preposition
apply
kilometers
to live in peace. Limiting and constraining them is likely to affect their psychology unpleasantly. Change the spelling
kilometres
Furthermore
, taking care of animals
in zoos
highly
debatable as the conditions are suspicious. Numerous incidents have occurred, Add a missing verb
is highly
such
as treating animals
violently or not meeting their needs. In such
a context, zoo employees' competencies are utterly questionable. Consequently
, people's entertainment is not more valuable than animals
' well-being.
In conclusion, being restrictive zoos
are not pleasant for animals
' sake, albeit informative and amusing. Therefore
, I am completely against zoos
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
To further enhance the coherence, consider using transitional phrases such as 'however', 'on the one hand', or 'in contrast' more frequently to smoothly guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
While the task is well-addressed, consider providing more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument about the treatment of animals in zoos.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes both viewpoints before restating your own stance for maximum impact.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, showing good balance and depth.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, giving a clear overview and summary of the topic discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains strong vocabulary and expressions, demonstrating a good command of the language.