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Writing Samples
Band 5

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convenience #foods #methods #food #preparation
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Consuming
convenience
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 has a significant place in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
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 world. Traditional
food
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consuming
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consumption
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is less preferred than
convenience
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food
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. Some
people
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agrees
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agree
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 that ready-to-use
food
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 is much more better than homemade traditional
food
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.
However
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, some
people
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says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
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 the opposite. It is often discussed that traditional
food
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 is healthier than
convenience
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food
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. On the one hand, ready-to-use
food
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 saves a lot of
time
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 and it is easy to prepare. To elaborate on
this
Linking Words
,
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
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time
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 workers
doesn't
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don't
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 have enough
time
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 to prepare a meal for themselves. Namely, they are more tend to consume fast
foods
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, workers choose the simple way rather than the complicated way to save their
time
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.
Additionally
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
people
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thinks
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think
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 that
convenience
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food
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 is much more tasty than traditional
food
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food
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 and it is much more preferred across the globe.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, studies show that
convenience
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food
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cause
Replace the word
causes
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 obesity by consuming fast
food
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. Doctors
advices
Correct your spelling
advises
advise
 that
people
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 should consume
foods
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 that include
vegetable
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vegetables
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 and organic products. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 vegetable and organic products
has
Change the verb form
have
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 better effects
to
Change preposition
on
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human
Add an article
the human
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 body. Namely,
people
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 should choose
consuming
Change the verb form
to consume
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 traditional homemade
foods
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 rather than
convenience
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food
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. Another research says that
convenience
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food
Use synonyms
 has bad effects on human psychology.
On the contrary
Linking Words
 traditional
foods
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 has
better
Add an article
a better
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 effect on psychology. In conclusion,
people
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 tend to choose
convenience
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food
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 because it is much
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 to prepare and it has a significant advantage
o
Correct your spelling
for
 workers that
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 have
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare a meal in
Correct article usage
the old-fashion
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old-fashion
Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
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 way.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, studies
recommends
Change the verb form
recommend
show examples
 that traditional homemade
foods
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 are healthier
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
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 body. My view is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 traditional
foods
Use synonyms
 are better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
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 body and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should be much
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferred
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 fast
foods
Use synonyms
.
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task achievement
Try to introduce more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. This will help in providing clearer support for your points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on refining sentence structure and using a variety of sentence types. This will help improve the clarity and fluency of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and considers different perspectives, which enhances your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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