In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?
Nowadays, we might see many
men
who can do house working
or we might see many women who can repair cars. Over the years, everything has been changing and they have a lot of effects. Correct your spelling
housework
This
essay will explain the role of family members are affected positively and negatively.
İn the past, tasks in houses are different and everyone
is responsible for their own work
. For instance
, women should Cook, do cleaning, care for their babies and should not go to work
outside. In contrast
, the men
can work
outside and bring the money home. If there were some works that need
strength, the Wrong verb form
needed
men
could do without help. Additionally
, these were acceptable things in the world. If we examine this
structure, everyone
can do their work
in a perfect way.
However
, the world has
changed one Day, women started to get out of their homes and they Unnecessary verb
apply
can realise
that they could do the Wrong verb form
realised
works
that they wanted. The Fix the agreement mistake
work
men
seeing this
happening, they
have begun to think that they must help their own wives at home. So, Correct pronoun usage
apply
everyone
can start to try anything else that they would like to do. Finally
, mums feel their motherhood is not enough, and dads or husbands feel their fatherhood or partnership is not enough as well. Because,
Remove the comma
apply
everyone
knows everything, they do not need each other. This
is the most important negative effect.
İn conclusion, we might see in the future a more changeable life for us. Both of these effects must have been accepted in the spinning world.Submitted by denizkevser08 on
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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. This will make your points more compelling and nuanced.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using transition sentences and connectors effectively. This will help in maintaining a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both positive and negative changes in family roles.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay nicely.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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