Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To control poverty in some poor
countries
one of the main solutions is that
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
countries
give
money
to them
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are other positive solutions which are more practical. I agree that
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
countries
can have
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
role
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
invest
inside
Change preposition
in
show examples
the poor
countries
and
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
more job opportunities rather than giving
money
. It is observed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
financial
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
from developed regions can be robbed by politics in developing
countries
.
That is
why
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the time
money
cannot
effort
Verb problem
afford
show examples
beneficial
Correct article usage
a beneficial
show examples
lifestyle for people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
those areas.
For example
, every year the amount of
money
has been sent to Africa by many
Charites
Correct your spelling
charities
show examples
in developed
countries
however
, none of the financial problems or
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
poverty have not solved.
In addition
, sometimes these financial
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
on
unscary
Add an article
the unscary
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
due to
lack of management. On the other side, poor
countries
can ask
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
help in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
other way,
for instance
, investigation of rich reigns in different areas can
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
effective impacts for both sides.
Due to
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
rate of investigations job opportunities will
be risen
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
in that society,
furthermore
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of experts and imports will change in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
years.
For example
,
stablish
Correct your spelling
establishing
a
brunch
Correct your spelling
launch
show examples
of
NIKE
Correct article usage
the NIKE
show examples
brand in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
created lots of job opportunities in recent decades. In conclusion, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
it is a good way to help poor
countries
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
of ways
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because that
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
of
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
show examples
will continue over the years and many people can
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from that.
Submitted by writing9.pry221 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Structure your essay more clearly by organizing paragraphs around a single main idea and using clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Make sure all parts of the question are addressed thoroughly, including discussing different types of aid other than financial.
Task Achievement
Support your points with more specific and diverse examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion that relate to the topic.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the prompt by agreeing that developed countries should provide other forms of assistance besides financial aid.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!