Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
think that children under the Use synonyms
age
of eighteen when committing a crime have to be judged as adults and not differently, because the crime Use synonyms
commited
is equal, Correct your spelling
committed
therefore
Linking Words
age
is not crucial. I strongly disagree with Use synonyms
this
view for several reasons that will be underlined in Linking Words
this
essay.
First of all, young Linking Words
people
should be treated differently because Use synonyms
age
is an important factor Use synonyms
to understand
the actions of Change preposition
in understanding
people
. Use synonyms
In other words
, being young is crucial when talking about Linking Words
people
, especially in the case of committing a crime. Research has shown that the brain of Use synonyms
a
youth is not fully developed, Remove the article
apply
therefore
Linking Words
the
critical thinking, which should stop Correct article usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
doing
wrong actions, doesn’t work. Change preposition
from doing
For instance
, some young Linking Words
people
realise what they have done only after talking with some experts, Use synonyms
such
as forensic Linking Words
psychologist
or Fix the agreement mistake
psychologists
detective
. Fix the agreement mistake
detectives
Secondly
, another reason why they have to be judged in a different way is because they still have a long life ahead. The government should look after them and invest Linking Words
on
social programs to reintroduce them Change preposition
in
in
Change preposition
to
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
For
Linking Words
this
reason, judges shouldn’t treat them in the same way as adults Linking Words
due to
the fact that there is a high probability that they can be different after Linking Words
supporting
.
In conclusion, these crucial factors, Replace the word
support
Use synonyms
age related
to brain development and the life that they still have to live, are important to keep in mind before treating young children as adults, because they are still young enough to change their life trajectory, with the right supports, for a better outcomeAdd a hyphen
age-related
Submitted by chiaracavallo02 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of the essay.
task achievement
Consider adding more varied examples to support your points, which can make your arguments stronger.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
logical structure
You maintain a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay, which contributes to a strong sense of coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reinforces your stance.
complete response
You have addressed the prompt well by focusing on young people's capacity for change and development.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion