IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #buildings #houses #cities
There has been a contentious debate over old
buildings
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building
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 management. Some people believe that they should
be demolish
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be demolished
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 and replaced by new ones. Others argue that they should be protected. Despite these differing views, I am inclined to
believed
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believe
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 that
old
Correct article usage
the old
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 building might be preserved. These
building
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buildings
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 were built in the past and might be considered as a heritage. By protecting these
contructions
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constructions
, we, as a society, could keep our history and essence. On the one hand, it is important to note that newer and more modern
building
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buildings
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posses
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possess
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 many advantages that older construction doesn't have. Even though many of them are not
much
Rephrase
very
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 appealing, they might be more convenient and efficient. When it comes to efficiency, modern
building
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buildings
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 have a clever use of space and usability.
For instance
, data
centers
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centres
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 are modern constructions
were
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where
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 windows and other items are neglected in order to seize space and convenience.
Furthermore
, skyscrapers are known for hosting a higher number of
appartments
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apartments
, as opposed to the majority of older
buildings
.
On the other hand
, ancient
buildings
posses
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possess
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 the history of the area where they are placed. Most of the iconic visitor's
point
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points
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 in many cities are the ancient
buildings
 which are renowned for a particular feature.
Moreover
, some of them have a special taste of art and architecture.
For instance
, the most visited place in Porto is the
portuguese
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Portuguese
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anciest
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ancient
 library. Following all the points mentioned
aboved
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above
, it is essential to note that both views have advantages.
While
 new
buildings
 offer fresh innovations and convenience facilities, old
buildings
 hold our roots and somehow a refined architectonic or artistic essence. Having said that, preserving old
buildings
 might be crucial to remember where we stem from and attract visitors.
Submitted by dar.rodriguez.ramos on

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language advice
Make sure to proofread your work for minor errors, such as "might be preserved" which should be "should be preserved."
task achievement advice
Provide more specific examples when illustrating your points to strengthen your argument.
task achievement highlight
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints regarding old and modern buildings.
coherence cohesion highlight
You have included a clear introduction and concise conclusion, summarizing your key points well.
coherence cohesion highlight
The logical structure of your essay is clear and makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • evolutionary journey
  • tangible link
  • fostering
  • sense of belonging
  • architectural beauty
  • economic benefit
  • tourist attractions
  • preservation techniques
  • structural integrity
  • energy-efficient
  • sustainable architecture
  • cultural preservation
  • urban demands
  • contemporary lifestyles
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