Too much emphasis is put on going to university for academic studies. We should encourage people to have to vocational education since there are not enough qualified businessmen, electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undoubtedly, with the rapid development of contemporary
education
theories in our society. The Use synonyms
education
curriculum Use synonyms
have
become significantly important. Change the verb form
has
Whereas
some people see higher Linking Words
education
as Use synonyms
an
essential, others argue that practical Correct article usage
apply
skills
are Use synonyms
also
necessary for professional knowledge. From my perspective, I am in favour of the latter, and the reasons will be elaborated on as Linking Words
fallows
.
First of all, it is undeniable that not all Correct your spelling
follows
student
like to Fix the agreement mistake
students
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
in
university. Change preposition
at
In other words
, individuals have their own interest areas, and some students might find academic research Linking Words
are
boring, which can lead to bad academic performance. In terms of research, reading papers and taking exams took too much Unnecessary verb
apply
times
, which Fix the agreement mistake
time
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
lake
of other Correct your spelling
lack
skills
Use synonyms
such
as cognitive Linking Words
skills
, creativity and Use synonyms
problem- solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
skills
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Academic knowledge may not be useful in our daily Linking Words
life
or future jobs. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, take Taiwan as an example, there are many people working in different Linking Words
industry
as their Fix the agreement mistake
industries
majored
study in universityReplace the word
major
,
because they Remove the comma
apply
found
it Wrong verb form
find
difficulty
to find a job in Replace the word
difficult
job
Correct article usage
the job
markets
. Fix the agreement mistake
market
As a result
, Linking Words
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
education
system have very Use synonyms
limit
learning approaches, which can Replace the word
limited
be restricted
Wrong verb form
restrict
individuals
well-round development and future Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
career
.
On the other Fix the agreement mistake
careers
hands
, it is knowledgeable that vocational Fix the agreement mistake
hand
education
Use synonyms
such
as electricians, plumbers and businessmen Linking Words
are potentially be
rich. Their Change the verb form
are potentially
skills
are essential and unique in the job markets, Use synonyms
in particular
, these jobs can easily Linking Words
self-employed
and charge Add a missing verb
be self-employed
high
admission fee. Add an article
a high
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
Linking Words
the
study conducted by National Taiwan Correct article usage
a
university
, over 20 Capitalize word
University
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
plumber
Change preposition
of plumber
have
their own business and Change the verb form
has
well-earned
.
In conclusion, based on the aforementioned reasons, I Add a missing verb
are well-earned
am strongly agree
that vocational Change the verb form
strongly agree
education
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
positive
impact Add an article
a positive
in
our Change preposition
on
education
system. Use synonyms
Government
should pay more attention to it.Correct article usage
The government
Submitted by el3vul4
on
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Task Response
While the essay presents arguments for both academic and vocational education, it would benefit from a clearer explanation of the importance of balancing the two. Consider including a paragraph that discusses how they can complement each other or a more explicit stance on the balance needed in society.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity, such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., "the education curriculum has" instead of "have") and sentence cohesion. This will improve overall readability and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out the main argument and provides a brief overview of the essay's structure, which helps the reader understand the direction of the essay.
Task Achievement
Examples like the situation in Taiwan add specificity and relevance to the argument about vocational education being profitable and essential in the job market.