All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
While
some people said
that all large Wrong verb form
say
coperates
Correct your spelling
corporates
cooperates
suppose
to support sports and community Wrong verb form
supposed
facilities
for the locals as a services
in return for the public, others argue that Correct the article-noun agreement
a service
services
this
can be somewhat beyond their responsiblity
and Correct your spelling
responsibility
crossing
Replace the word
crosses
line
of the Correct article usage
the line
government
duty. I genuinely agree with the former claim Change noun form
government's
as
a benevolent act for Change preposition
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
will be elaborated on in this
essay.
To begin
with, it seems sensible for some to believe that such
large companies should provide something for the public. This
is possibly because they considered themselves a crucial roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
of
economics, namely, the customers. In Change preposition
in
this
sense, some believe that without them the business would never come this
far. Take CP, for example
; this
cooperates expected to show some gratitudes
Fix the agreement mistake
gratitude
for
Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
such
as offering monetary supports
and more for the the development of the nation.
Fix the agreement mistake
support
However
, many opponents of this
idea migh
oppose that it Correct your spelling
might
not
their duty to provide Add a missing verb
is not
such
facilities
that the government
should offer. This
blurred insection
of services between Correct your spelling
section
private
Correct article usage
the private
sectors
and the Fix the agreement mistake
sector
government
are
controversially debated for many years. Wrong verb form
has been
It is clear that
the authorities suppose
to be the head of the project for allocating taxes appropriately. The Wrong verb form
are supposed
government
may losing
Change the verb form
lose
be losing
their
faith and trust Change the word
the
from
the public if any big companies step up to do Change preposition
of
this
instead
of them.
From my point of view, I strongly support the offers made by these companies seeing that it
not only Correct pronoun usage
they
serving
the demand of Wrong verb form
serve
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
in a positive way, it enhances
the images of the Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
coperates
too. Correct your spelling
corporations
Therefore
, these benevolent act
of supporting the locals can be seen in Fix the agreement mistake
acts
severals
developed countries. Correct your spelling
several
Thailand
, Change preposition
In Thailand
for instance
, the taxes alone may not allocated and distributed well enough to offer the best facilities
across nation
. Add an article
the nation
Hence
, with
the help from Change preposition
apply
private
sector whether it is financially or material-wise can make Correct article usage
the private
society
a better place.
In summary, although
it is undeniable that these coperate no
need to fund or offer Verb problem
corporations do not
facilities
for the communities, I am of the opinion that it show
gratitudes for the customer Change the verb form
shows
as well as
making the nation a better place.Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument before stating your position. This helps guide the reader logically through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more distinct and stronger examples to illustrate your points. While Thailand is mentioned, elaborating on the example can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main point that is directly supported by evidence or examples. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both present and successfully outline and reaffirm the writer's position on the topic.
task achievement
The essay shows a genuine effort to present balanced viewpoints before arguing for one side, which enriches task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout, which contributes positively to coherence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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