IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. AS To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #food #population #import
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Number
Change the article
A number
The number
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 of people think that countries need to manufacture
products
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
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 their citizens.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 initiative because if
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
a country
the country
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 has
Add an article
the condition
a condition
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 to
product
Replace the word
produce
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 foods,it reduces of harmful effects of other
country
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 and it helps to increase our
economy
Replace the word
economic
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budget
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. The primary reason that we should produce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 to feed,we can avoid to side effects of damaging
products
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.If the
country
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 has normal economic and weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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, it can pay attention to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing and
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 producing high-quality crops and
food
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. All developed countries have to focus
to make
Change preposition
on making
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 a variety of
cuisine
Fix the agreement mistake
cuisines
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 and some
products
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the condition of my
country
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 can contrast available
products
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 like flour for backing more bread, various types of vegetables, of
course
Add the comma(s)
course,
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 able to make spices and others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, paying attention to money is vital and affects financial decisions.Authorities always have to assign the
budget
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 to significant needs.Making some
products
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 in own
country
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 reduces paying a huge amount of money to import.So,
accesing
Correct your spelling
accessing
 to produce some foods can develop our profit.
For example
Linking Words
,in Malaysia after 10 years when the government faced
insufficient
Correct article usage
an insufficient
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budget
Use synonyms
 decided to create
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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food
Use synonyms
 factories
instead
Linking Words
 of exporting for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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big money.
To sum up
Linking Words
,I agree with most people that a
country
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 must produce its own
food
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 for the entire nation
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
this
Linking Words
 increases the
economy
Replace the word
economic
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budget
Use synonyms
 and we can use our own
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task response
Ensure that you clearly define whether you 'agree' or 'disagree' with the statement in the introduction for clarity.
task response
Provide more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points further.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to enhance the flow of your essay.
task response
Try to elaborate more on each point in the body paragraphs to ensure comprehensive coverage.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to set and summarize the position effectively.
task response
You address both economic and health benefits, which showcases a well-rounded understanding of the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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