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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. a.s

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. a.s
#information #people #cigarettes #uk
The bar chart shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how many males and females declined smoking during the 10 years in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom.
Overall
,the
men
Correct quantifier usage
number of men
show examples
 and women
smokers
 decreased rapidly.The highest number of
smokers
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 above 4
million
 people.The lowest number of
smokers
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 about 0,5
million
 people
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 2011 till 2021 years. At first,in 2011
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
smokers
 were just over 4
million
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
dropped
Correct pronoun usage
this dropped
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3
million
smokers
 in 2015.And it significantly decreased to 2,5
million
 users by 2019.
Then
finally
 they became above 1
million
 male
smokers
 in 2021 . About women
smokers
, they started the recorded period with just over 3
million
,
also
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 rapidly in 2013 to 1
million
.But, the number of
smokers
 rose from about 1
million
 to 1,3
million
 .
Also
,the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
smoke
Replace the word
smoking
show examples
 users changed to 1,7
million
 in 2018.
At the end
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
2021
Add a comma
2021,
show examples
 the female
smokers
 were about 0,7
million
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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