IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. As

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. As
#worker #four #countries #workers #people
During the
last
 3
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the
temporary
Correct quantifier usage
number of temporary
show examples
migrants
 number
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in 2006.
This
 essay will show how many
migrants worker
Fix the agreement mistake
migrant workers
show examples
 have been
join to
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
 four countries. Over the 1000
migrants
 was found in increasing statistic who lived in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 four places. Each of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 countries
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own below table of population and all of them
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased over the three years.
For example
,
initially
Add a comma
initially,
show examples
 there were 152,000 migrant workers in 2003
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australia until 2006 when
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of
migrants
 were high
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 219,000. In New
Zeland
Correct your spelling
Zealand
show examples
were
Correct pronoun usage
there were
show examples
 65.000
migrants
 and it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2006 to 87,000
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. In conclusion, how below table
is showed
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 us the growth rate, there was a huge splash of people from
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
, who came to work abroad.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words migrants with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: