The table below show the persentage of men and women employed in four different types of industries in one town in 1990, 2000, and 2010

The table gives information about how many males and females worked in four different types of facilities in one town in 1990,2000 and 2010.
Overall
, Manufacturing reached the peak point in 1990 for
men
while
it was the smallest degree after three decades for
women
. The jobs called retail and shops stayed constant for male employees with 13 per cent for those 3 periods
also
female workers started to larger with 7 % till 9 %. Health employment was increased gradually for two types of genes. It stayed permanent in 1990 and 2000 for
men
at 7 per cent
while
for
women
was increased significantly after 30 years and it reached 15 per cent. Manufacturing reached the maximum by
men
in 1990 with 30% and it started to decrease to 15 % in 2000, when it showed 10 percentages for
men
in 2010 so it showed the smallest point for
women
with 3 %. Tourism was a special job for females rather than males . Because for the
men
it decreased gradually and it stayed equal in two periods with 10 %
while
women
reached the peak percentage with 27 % which included 4 types of employment.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!