Task 2 Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Some
people
believe that protection of climate
changes
is Fix the agreement mistake
change
waste
of money. Correct article usage
a waste
Personally
I support the idea that it will be beneficial to live in an urban area.
Add a comma
Personally,
Climate
change includes a range of issues to need to be tackle
in each country. Change the verb form
be tackled
Firstly
the government should introduce some laws in order to contribute to improve
Change the verb form
improving
the
green open spaces. Correct article usage
apply
In other words
, not only the fresh air, natural habitats and greeny atmosphere could be useful for human health, but these factors also
will extend their life time
in the future rather than now. So as long as certain factories and other buildings which release fossil fuels could be relocating Correct your spelling
lifetime
other
places Change preposition
to other
which
Correct word choice
where
people
don't live. Then
, the life rate could be experienced
a significant rise . At the same time, the government should approach to protect wild animals equally. Wild animals, because, as a great tooling changing in the world.
Having said that, there Wrong verb form
experience
are
a type of problems related to Change the verb form
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
climate
change, humans also
lend a
help to Remove the article
apply
unit
with nature. First and foremost individuals should Add an article
the unit
a unit
also
use more public transport rather than private cars. If more people
could be use
Change the verb form
use
a public transport
, a range of vehicles release more exhaust fumes Remove the article
public transport
a means of public transport
a mode of public transport
to
the atmosphere. Change preposition
into
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
people
ought to prefer the packaging items than
new ones . The waste is a good example Change preposition
to
for
Change preposition
of
this
because the
human waste Correct article usage
apply
be
a large segment Change the verb form
is
that is
improve
the poor air .
In conclusion, some Wrong verb form
improving
people
think that there are some disadvantages for protect
the environment. Change preposition
to protecting
Nevertheless
in my mind , the protection need
to prevent a lot of Change the verb form
needs
climate
changes.Submitted by Writing9 on
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task achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by clearly stating your position on the issue at the beginning and maintaining this stance throughout the essay.
task achievement
Include more clear and comprehensive ideas to show a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your main points effectively, illustrating your ideas more concretely.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly and that ideas within it are logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Make the introduction and conclusion more impactful by clearly summarizing your arguments and offering a succinct final perspective.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with substantial detail to enhance reader understanding and strengthen the overall argument.
task achievement
Good attempt at addressing multiple aspects of climate change and its challenges.
coherence cohesion
Provides suggestions for both government action and individual contributions to mitigating climate change.
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