IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays,a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatmens instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In the modern era, Health problems
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 increasing day by day. Visiting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
usual doctors
instead
Linking Words
mobs
Correct word choice
of mobs
show examples
 are trying
alternative
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
treatment
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
show examples
 and
medicine
Use synonyms
. I think
this
Linking Words
 is
Correct article usage
a pros
show examples
pros
Fix the agreement mistake
pro
show examples
 development because
people
Use synonyms
 can change
habitual
Replace the word
their habits
show examples
 of chemical
medicine
Use synonyms
 and they can save from expensive
treatment
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
First
Add an article
The first
A first
show examples
 positive development of
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 and
tratment
Correct your spelling
treatment
 is that the charges of visiting
Use synonyms
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 too much high and normal
people
Use synonyms
 can't afford that prices
as well as
Linking Words
 doctors
forces
Add a missing verb
are forces
show examples
 to
people
Use synonyms
 for CT
scan
Fix the agreement mistake
scans
show examples
,
ultrasound
Fix the agreement mistake
ultrasounds
show examples
 and
MRI
Fix the agreement mistake
MRIs
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 done in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 which shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are suffering from joint pain. That time,
Use synonyms
doctor
Correct article usage
the doctor
show examples
send
Correct subject-verb agreement
sends
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 for these tests and after that
doctor
Use synonyms
 will do
treatment
Use synonyms
 but
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
at this
show examples
timing
Replace the word
time
show examples
 patient can't wait for
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 long time of
test
Correct article usage
the test
show examples
then
Linking Words
 repots after
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 again
wait
Correct subject-verb agreement
waits
show examples
 for the
Use synonyms
doctor
Change noun form
doctor's
show examples
 appointment.
Body paragraph 2
Another
pros
Replace the adjective
pro
show examples
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to take
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 and
treatment
Use synonyms
 because some
Use synonyms
medicine
Fix the agreement mistake
medicines
show examples
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 made from plants which have no side effects on the body
as well as
Linking Words
 no
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
 included in the
medicine
Use synonyms
.
Herbour
Correct your spelling
Harbour
 and
Homopathic
Correct your spelling
Homoeopathic
medicine
Use synonyms
 are
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
instance
Fix the agreement mistake
instances
show examples
 of
medicine
Use synonyms
 which
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 no effect on the body of
people
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
visting
Correct your spelling
visiting
 charges and waiting
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 doctors
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 high.
This
Linking Words
 is the main reason,
people
Use synonyms
 choose
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 and
treatment
Use synonyms
 which is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 development in the modern era.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, organize your essay into clear paragraphs with each paragraph focusing on one main idea. For example, have an introduction, a paragraph on the cost benefits, a paragraph on the natural benefits, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples or statistical evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Work on varying sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary to improve the flow and engagement of your writing.
task achievement
You have identified two clear advantages of alternative medicine, which provides a good foundation for your argument.
task achievement
The essay is focused on the question, considering whether alternative medicines and treatments are a positive or negative development.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic approach
  • sustainable health solutions
  • accessibility
  • cost-effectiveness
  • scientific validation
  • regulation
  • natural remedies
  • lifestyle changes
  • complement conventional treatments
  • unverified alternative methods
  • cultural importance
  • traditional treatments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: