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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A lot of places on the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweighs its drawback?

#places #world #tourism #source #income #drawback
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There is no denying that the tourism
industry
Use synonyms
 in many countries is one of the main sources of income .
However
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, it can lead to serious problems if not managed correctly . despite some disadvantages
due to
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 mismanagement ,
i
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I
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 believe that the benefits are more substantial .
To begin
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 with , the tourism
industry
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 has various benefits for both the government and the citizens.undoubtedly enhancing the economy of
this
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 country
for example
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, when tourists visit a country they pay for restaurants to try the traditional food ,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 pay for their accommodation in the hotels , tour guides, and tickets to enter museums .
in addition
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 , these hotels and restaurants create more job opportunities for the locals decreasing the rate of unemployed people .
On the other hand
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 , it is important to note that the travel
industry
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also
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 has some neglectable drawbacks . studies have shown that as tourist numbers increase air pollution increases sequentially , not only
this
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 but
also
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 traffic congestion rises significantly . For instance , in Istanbul the traffic congestion more than doubles in summer
due to
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 the increasing number of tourists .
To sum up
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 , in many countries tourism
industry
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 plays an important role in improving
economic
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the economic
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 status of individuals and governments .
while
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 there are some drawbacks
such
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 as pollution and crowding of roads ,
overall
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 ,
i
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I
show examples
 think the financial advantages outweigh the disadvantages .
Submitted by joudfadi2000 on

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sentence structure
Consider varying your sentence structures more. This can help maintain the reader's interest and show your range of language skills.
balance of arguments
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument. At times, the benefits are emphasized more strongly than the drawbacks, slightly disrupting balance.
capitalization
Pay attention to capitalization, such as starting sentences with capital letters, for increased professionalism in your writing.
structure
The essay provides a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, contributing to an effective presentation of arguments.
examples
You offer relevant examples, like the reference to Istanbul's traffic congestion, which effectively supports your points.
task response
The essay addresses all parts of the task prompt, assessing both benefits and drawbacks of tourism.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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