IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organisation's should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #people #situation #governments #organisation #amount #damage #environment
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Pollution is increasing day by day. Nowadays,
universe
Add an article
the universe
show examples
 is tackling with so many environmental issues. To
saught out
Verb problem
solve
show examples
this
 problem masses can do less as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to large companies and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement that
government
 should do something to mitigate the environmental problems.
To begin
 with,
administration
Add an article
the administration
show examples
 should make some strict rules for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
For example
, if
people
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
throw
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste
 material here and there on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 they have to pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
 to executives.
Moreover
, bureaucracy should arrange some awareness campaigns for
people
 and
also
 they should spend money on television advertisements so, that
people
 can be concerned about what is wrong and write.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should arrange a place to
do
Verb problem
clean
show examples
 the garbage of
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 city, and
then
 they should reuse and recycle the things as much as they can.
For instance
, they can change garbage into plant fertilizers. Another point to consider is,
Correct word choice
that executive
show examples
executive
Fix the agreement mistake
executives
show examples
 should hire more cleaners to clean the streets. And
also
, increase the number of transportation for
collect
Wrong verb form
collecting
show examples
 the
waste
 from
people
's houses.
Such
 as, Japan is
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
number 1 in clean and beautiful nations, one reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 is,
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 have more than 4k cleaners.
However
, the large companies throw their
waste
 materials like glasses, plastic bottles, clothes and
etcetra
Correct your spelling
etcetera
 in rivers, which makes water so dirty and
block
Correct subject-verb agreement
blocks
show examples
 the bridges, So administrations should
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about
this
 and
put
Verb problem
take
show examples
 action against them.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 can
also
 aware masses to use
eco-friendly
Change preposition
of eco-friendly
show examples
 vehicles like;
cycle
Wrong verb form
cycling
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
 can be responsible
to
Change preposition
for disposing
show examples
dispose
Add the preposition
dispose of
show examples
 their
waste
 differently organic or recycled and they should use more and more public transportation as compared to their private vehicles. But, Bureaucracy
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more responsibilities to mitigate
this
 situation.
Submitted by navjot88005 on

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task response
Your introduction clearly presents your position, but make sure to refine your thesis statement to make it more coherent and comprehensively outline your main arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph presents a main idea, which is good, but try to connect them more fluidly using linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
task response
Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, ensuring they're relevant and support your main points effectively.
task response
Avoid minor grammatical errors and polishing sentence structure can enhance the clarity and strength of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
task response
You attempt to support your points with specific examples, which is commendable.
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