Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

The twenty-first century has been completely revolutionized by industrialization. It is considered by some
individuals
that new gadgets used in contemporary times, have connected masses
whereas
, others believe that it is the sole reason why bonding between
individuals
has been distorted. Upcoming writing will shed light on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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narratives. I believe that modernization helps in improving relationships. On the one side, mobile phones allow
individuals
to stay connected who are distance from each other. If an individual wants to
stay
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talk to their friends and family members,
then
he can use the phone to
know
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get
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updates and to share their feelings.
For example
, if a person is living apart from their family,
then
he or she can keep their bond fresh by talking every day.
Moreover
, texting and sending emails
also
keep people in touch.
Hence
, advanced machinery like
the
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mobile phones can bring the masses together. On the other side, social media engages youngsters to form online relationships
due to
which real-life relations get sabotaged. It is noticed that nowadays because of the influence of
the
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apply
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social media
individuals
are not able to give enough to their loved ones
due to
which their bonding is affected.
For example
, youngsters mostly engage in online activities and do not have any friends in real life.
Therefore
,
giving
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spending
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more time on
the
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online activity can jeopardize in-person bonding. I believe that if
moderb
Correct your spelling
modern
gadgets are used wisely
than
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then
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they
helps
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help
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in improving bonds by keeping
individuals
in touch with each other despite any distance. Considering all the points above,
although
new machinery can bring the masses together by giving them
platform
Add an article
a platform
the platform
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to stay connected with their loved ones
but
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at the same time, most of the people engage on the internet and they give less time to face-to-face relations.
Submitted by simrantiwana1086 on

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grammar
Be careful with grammatical errors and word choice, such as 'If an individual wants to stay talk,' which should be 'stay connected or talk.'
task achievement
Expand on arguments for both viewpoints to provide a more balanced discussion and deeper insight into each perspective.
structure
The essay includes a well-defined introduction that clearly outlines both viewpoints and presents a personal opinion.
task achievement
Provides relevant examples, like using mobile phones to stay connected with distant family members, which supports the argument effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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