Nowadays,a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatmens instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In recent years, a significant number of people are using
alternative
medicines and treatments
over checking in with an educated doctor. This
trend may bring some positive development; however
, it is insignificant compared to the negative sides. That is
why, I strongly believe that this
is a negative cause.
One major negative aspect is that alternative
medicines and treatments
are not often backed up by scientific proof. Many of these pills are based on ancient practices, therefore
they do not guarantee effectiveness and can cause problems. Patients who choose these kinds of treatments
risk their health
and well-being by avoiding those who know what they are doing in health
care. For example
, those people who have a serious health
issue such
as cancer may significantly endanger their life
by ignoring tested and beneficial Fix the agreement mistake
lives
treatments
.
Moreover
, the use of these alternative
medicaments can cause delay
in receiving proper medical care. In some cases, ill people prefer to use Correct subject-verb agreement
delays
alternative
options instead
of the necessary health
treatmnets
, which can result in the progression of their illness. An example of the negative impact of trusting these other medications is Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer was diagnosed with Correct your spelling
treatments
treatment
rare
sickness called tuberculosis. She Correct article usage
a rare
initially
chose to cure herself with alternative
medicine because she believed that hospitals were untrustworthy. Moreover
, as the
time passed her condition had gotten Correct article usage
apply
more
worse; Change the word
apply
however
, by the time she finally
decided to seek help, it was, unfortunately, already too late.
In conclusion, while
the idea of using alternative
treatments
have
become more popular and may seem appealing, it is ultimately a negative development. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
That is
why we need to be aware of the many dark sides of this
and educate the public about the importance of proper medical care.Submitted by ligaevelinabriede on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph fully supports the main argument of the essay. You can improve this by linking back to the main point at the end of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more direct examples or evidence that are absolutely aligned with the topic discussed. This will strengthen the task response score.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas with broader explanations and clear connections between them. This will enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and a conclusion, smoothly transitioning from introducing the topic to summarizing the view, which enhances logical flow and readability.
task achievement
The main argument is effectively articulated in the introduction and followed through in the body of the essay, illustrating a strong task response.
task achievement
The use of an example, such as the story of Jennifer Lawrence, effectively shows the potential dangers of relying solely on alternative treatments.