Some people believe the Olympic Games do not belong to the 21 st century anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #olympic #games #st #century

Some

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

hold the view that

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

Games

are outdated so

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should not fit

Change preposition

into

show examples

21 st

Correct your spelling

the 21st

century

while

there are valid arguments on

this

topic, I partly disagree with the given statement for some reasons and will justify my point of view

along with

relevant examples in the

umcoming

Correct your spelling

upcoming

coming

paragraphs. On the one hand,

Olimpoc

Correct article usage

the Olimpoc

show examples

Games

established

Add a missing verb

was established

show examples

for boosting

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to boost

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with

another provinces

Replace the adjective

another province

other provinces

show examples

the main reason for

this

is to

indroduce

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introduce

gifted

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

men

Correct word choice

and

show examples

women. First and foremost,

Games

Correct article usage

the Games

show examples

Olimpic

bring together nations , promoting peace and understanding the

realife

Correct your spelling

reality

For instance

, Athletes from various places

competing

Wrong verb form

compete

show examples

together despite

politicak

Correct your spelling

political

tensions.

In addition

games

also

would be more advantageous to

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

financial stability, when holding

Correct article usage

a counytry

show examples

counytry

Correct your spelling

country

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

show examples

all qualities and amenities , guests might

give

Verb problem

pay

show examples

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

amout

Correct your spelling

amount

of price for service or behaviour with people, so

games

also

bring new

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of innovations and adventures because for country's benefit, they great today's based technologies.

Furthermore

Olimpic

Correct your spelling

Olympic

show examples

games

not only

financial

Add a missing verb

have financial

show examples

sides but

also

inspire millions to engage in sports and fitness, creating a global focus on health and well-being. As an illustration,

this

notion has been

pripoved

Correct your spelling

proved

proposed

proven

by the recent research that was carried out by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

scientists

Change preposition

show examples

California State University. They found in 2026 ,

Olimpic

Correct your spelling

Olympic

show examples

Games

are predicted to hold data

Change preposition

from aboutn6

show examples

aboutn6

Correct your spelling

about 6

to 22 nd February

Change preposition

apply

show examples

across Minnesota's Twin

citis

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cities

with sports

compettitions

Correct your spelling

competitions

competition

at the University of Minnesota and

National

Correct article usage

the National

show examples

Sports

centre

Capitalize word

Centre

show examples

in Blaine. From the second perspective, it should be acknowledged that the Olimpics may

effect

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affect

show examples

ti environmental wildlife

snd

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and

biodiversity because of

Correct article usage

the constraction

show examples

constraction

Correct your spelling

construction

new

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of leading to

deforstation

Correct your spelling

deforestation

and pollution , as

welll

Correct your spelling

well

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

many inhabitants on Earth come to display

Olimpic

Gaes over the world so they definitely do not know about culture and restriction rules indoor and outdoor places.

Addittionally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, many host nations face debt and unused facilities after

games

for example

, Rio 2016 left Brazil with

abandoned

Correct article usage

an abandoned

show examples

stadium and

financiak

Correct your spelling

financial

strain. In conclusion,

although

Olimpic

Correct your spelling

Olympic

show examples

Games

would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

benefit to country's reputation and financial profit, the other argument which focus on impacting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

biodiversity

whuch

Correct your spelling

which

surrounded

Wrong verb form

surrounds

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the environment

as well as

arguments after

games

esppeacially

Correct your spelling

especially

Correct article usage

the debts

show examples

debts

Change the noun form

debt

show examples

burden should be taken into consideration.

Submitted by Writing9 on Wed Nov 20 2024

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coherence/cohesion

The essay should be more structured, with clear paragraphing and a logical flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is connected to the overall argument.

task achievement

Consider improving sentence structures and reducing grammatical errors to enhance clarity and readability.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples and elaborate on points to make arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence/cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which is good practice in writing essays.

task achievement

The response attempts to address both sides of the argument, which shows an effort to present a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
59Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

368 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the Olympic Games do not belong to the 21 st century anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many people use social media to get in touch with other people and know about news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Growing numbers of cities are making their centres pedestrian-only zones. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Many employees are able to work at home due to modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Is it a positive or negative development?