Topic: Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

There is always an argument about whether wrongdoers'
behiver
Correct your spelling
behaviour
is caused by
poverty
or because of bad
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personalities and nature.
while
both factors could be true to a certain area, I am going to mention some examples for each one of them in
this
essay, including social factors, family cultures and so on.
To begin
with,
poverty
alone accounts for a fairly high number of crimes each year.
For instance
, in an urban area like New York City, we often witness much
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
crime rates in poorer towns like Harlem than we see in Queens, which is a rich place. It does not only apply to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
NYC and basically
this
is a true fact for almost all the cities in the world. In fact, most of these problems are caused by lower education levels across those groups of people mostly because they can not afford it, resulting in little to no job opportunities for the individuals. So, when a person can not get a decent job because of no knowledge in any specific field, there is no other way for him to make money.
On the other hand
,
poverty
could not be the only reason as it can
also
be seen that even some people who are in good financial stages, often break bad.
This
is what makes me consider that social problems are too, a part of
this
matter.
For instance
, a person might have even been raised in a rich family, but
due to
the lack of certain lessons and experiences that should be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
to a kid like how to control desires,
this
person grows to become a criminal. In detail,
such
a man or woman despite having
what ever
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whatever
show examples
they needed in life, would sometimes have some complexes
due to
being
limmited
Correct your spelling
limited
by
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents or the culture, or not being thankful enough for what they have. Resulting in bad
behivers
Correct your spelling
behaviour
in order to
satisfie
Correct your spelling
satisfy
those leakages. In conclusion, I think crimes are caused by a combination of
poverty
and social problems, as both play a big role in
this
matter. Lack of knowledge of basic childcare skills, not being able to educate and all the facts mentioned above, are examples of both figures.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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advice
Ensure consistent tense usage and correct common grammatical errors such as 'behiver' to 'behavior' and 'tought' to 'taught'.
advice
Provide more detailed connections between the given examples and their implications on the argument to bolster the argument further.
advice
Try to maintain a more formal tone by avoiding contractions and colloquial expressions.
positive
The essay presents a balanced view that acknowledges both sides of the argument.
positive
Good use of specific examples such as the reference to New York City to support arguments.
positive
Clear structure with introduction, main body paragraphs discussing each perspective, and a conclusion summarizing the view.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic factors
  • unemployment
  • inadequate housing
  • family breakdown
  • peer pressure
  • community support
  • predisposition
  • aggression
  • empathy
  • thrill-seeking behaviors
  • marginalized communities
  • multifaceted approach
  • environmental factors
  • personal characteristics
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