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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries . summarise the information and

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries . summarise the information and
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The graph
illustrate
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illustrates
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 the
percentage
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 of individuals who are 65 and above in three nations from 1940 to 2040.
Overall
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, the graph shows the proportion of Japan,
Sweden
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, and the
USA
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. The country with the most elderly people is the
USA
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 in 2040, by 30%. Japan had the lowest
percentage
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 among other countries in 1940; the rate of people was 5%, but it increased in 2025 to 10%,
then
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 to 25% in 2040. On one hand, the ratio of individuals in
Sweden
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 was lower than 10% in 1940, and it increased by 5% each year until it reached 25% in 2040.
On the other hand
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, the
USA
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 has the same
percentage
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 as
Sweden
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; expect that between 1980 and 2020, the rito was staple by 15%, but in 2025 it increased until it reached 30% in 2040.
To sum up
Linking Words
, Japan had the lowest
percentage
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 of aged people in 1940.
USA
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 have the most rito of old individuals by 30%.
Sweden
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 is similar to the
USA
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 in some years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, sweden, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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