Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In
todays
Modern society , Change to a genitive case
today's
music
becomes
a integral part of lifeWrong verb form
has become
to
Change preposition
for
people
, Due to
Correct article usage
the avaibilty
avaibilty
of Correct your spelling
availability
music
at global
level through Correct article usage
a global
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
it brings Capitalize word
Internet
culture
and ages together, Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
it
become Correct word choice
and it
on
of the best the best way to Correct your spelling
one
making
bonds among Wrong verb form
make
people
who are from various cultures. I totally agree with this
statement .
Without a doubt, In this
fast phase
and hectic world Correct your spelling
fast-paced
people
fond
of Add a missing verb
are fond
music
to get some relief from their stress of work or studies and obvious
easily avail of Change the word
obviously
music
from various countries by
just one click on Change preposition
with
phone
is why Correct pronoun usage
their phone
people
are getting connected by music
at the level of global. Even though they are not aware of lyrics
Correct article usage
the lyrics
due to
the langugae
barriers, the tone of the Correct your spelling
language
music
which
attracts them to fall in love with that Correct pronoun usage
apply
music
.For instance
, exploring more and more social media such
as Youtube
,Correct your spelling
YouTube
Instagram
, these platforms become a way Correct word choice
and Instagram
that
Correct word choice
for
people
are getting
togetherWrong verb form
get
attach
by reading and writing Verb problem
apply
the
comments to Correct article usage
apply
the
strangers .
Correct article usage
apply
Music
has the potential it
can bring Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
together from different ages, some times it just
the lyrics that match with different Add a missing verb
is just
people
at different level
of Fix the agreement mistake
levels
age
.For instance
, recently there was a concert of famous superstar Taylor swift
at the Rogers Capitalize word
Swift
center
, Capitalize word
Center
people
from every age
group were their
to attend the concert of that Replace the word
there
muscian
. Correct your spelling
musician
This
mean
Change the verb form
means
people
from various age
group
are getting together in Fix the agreement mistake
groups
form
of Correct article usage
the form
music
.
To
conclusion, Change preposition
In
although
music
from different countries and cultures has different
Add an article
a different
language
, still it is the power of Fix the agreement mistake
languages
music
tone which connects people
from various cultures and also
having a
multiple choices to play Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
music
also
one
another reason that every Correct pronoun usage
apply
age
of people
fond of listening to them.Submitted by amarbatth367 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction to clearly state your position. Summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the main points with more detailed explanations or arguments to strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are addressed more directly. Explain why music brings people together more clearly.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas with more comprehensive arguments and clear language. Avoid vague expressions.
task achievement
You have chosen relevant and contemporary examples, such as Taylor Swift's concert, to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay reflects an understanding that music transcends language and cultural barriers, which is a strong point of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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