IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think it has harmful ‎effects on lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons.‎

#food #part #life #places #people #‎effects #lifestyle #diet
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The output of fast
food
Use synonyms
 is growing
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it has
a harmful effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
harmful effects
a harmful effect
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, a lot disagree and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
 because of many reasons. In my opinion, I think they all
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 the best for everyone and they all agree on
this
Linking Words
 idea. At
first,
Linking Words
there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of things that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 your
health
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as diet, the gym and your lifestyle are the prime reasons that will make you stay healthy.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 in a different way about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lifestyle and fast
food
Use synonyms
, and think that the prime reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 problems is fast
food
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and I know that fast
food
Use synonyms
 is not the only problem, even though it has an effect. In my opinion, I think the officials have to do something about fast
food
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as telling the young people about the effects of
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
, by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education.
Finally
Linking Words
, I would like to say that everyone must care about his
health
Use synonyms
, and the viable solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 problems, first is to walk more and
secondly
Linking Words
, you can go to the gym and eat less fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by axik070 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on organizing ideas clearly. Each paragraph should have a single main idea. Consider using topic sentences to help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction and maintain a consistent argument throughout. This will help to guide the reader more effectively.
Task Achievement
You have made a clear effort to provide an opinion on the topic, which is important for task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, which gives it a complete feel.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • calories
  • saturated fats
  • sugar
  • salt
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • hypertension
  • nutrient deficiencies
  • vitamins
  • minerals
  • fiber
  • nutritional value
  • culinary skills
  • home-cooked meals
  • long-term healthcare costs
  • environmental issues
  • packaging waste
  • carbon emissions
  • traditional diets
  • balanced meals
  • marketing strategies
  • dietary habits
  • children and teenagers
  • lifestyle implications
What to do next:
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