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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#some #people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems
For all people,
transport
 is critical in their lives.
However
, it is argued that more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than public
transport
 systems. In my opinion, spending more money on public
transport
 is more crucial because of the more passengers it takes, increases the physical motion, and it reduces the
carpon
Correct your spelling
carbon
 that
came
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 from
cars
.
To begin
 with, it's better to spend money on public transportation.
This
 is because having
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 public
transport
 system decreases the number of
cars
,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 reduces traffic.
For example
, one bus could reduce 30
cars
 on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
 which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 many
cars
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the road.
In addition
, public transportation increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical activity. For the reason of walking to catch a bus or the metro
instead
 of driving a car.
For instance
, walking into the bus station for 1
killo
Correct your spelling
kills
kilo
 each day
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 the rate of physical activity during the day.
Furthermore
, public
transport
 is friendly for the earth.
This
 is because
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
cars
 on roads leads to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
carbons
Fix the agreement mistake
carbon
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
sky
Add an article
the sky
show examples
,
this
 is
Correct article usage
a positve
show examples
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
climet
Correct your spelling
climate
 change.
For example
, recent research by the University of Prince Sultan (PSU) has shown that 90% of the cities
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
depened
Correct your spelling
depend
depended
 on public
transport
 are better in the
clearity
Correct your spelling
clarity
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
weather
Add an article
the weather
show examples
. In conclusion, increasing investment in public
transport
 is important because it will allocate more individuals, increase physical activity and decrease the pollution in the
wether
Correct your spelling
weather
show examples
.
Lastly
, good public
transport
 is really important for people I hope the government allocate more funds for it.
Submitted by abdallah550603 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to clearly separate main ideas into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Avoid repeating similar ideas; instead, expand on them with additional supporting information.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively presents the main argument and the conclusion reinforces it well.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples to support the main points, enhancing its persuasive quality.

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