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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #information #features #comparisons
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THE
CHART
Use synonyms
 COMPARES DESTINATION OF
ANTROPLOGY
Correct your spelling
ANTHROPOLOGY
GRADUATES
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 AFTER FINISHING THEIR UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE,
WHILE
Linking Words
TABLE
Use synonyms
 SHOWS SALARIES OF
GRADUATES
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 IN THREE VARIOUS SECTORS AFTER FIVE YEARS.
OVERALL
Linking Words
,
IT IS CLEAR THAT
Linking Words
 IN
PIE
Correct article usage
THE PIE
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CHART
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 ALMOST HALF OF UNDERGRADUATES
EMPLOYED
Add a missing verb
ARE EMPLOYED
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 IN FULL-TIME
WORK
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.
Linking Words
HOWEVER
Add a comma
HOWEVER,
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 FROM THE
TABLE
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, HALF OF
Use synonyms
GRADUATES
Add an article
THE GRADUATES
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 WHO
WORK
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 IN
GOVERNMENT
Correct article usage
THE GOVERNMENT
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 SECTOR GET
SALARY
Correct article usage
A SALARY
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MORE
Change preposition
OF MORE
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 THAN 100.000 DOLLARS. IN TERMS OF
PIE
Correct article usage
THE PIE
show examples
CHART
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, LESS OVER THE HALF OF STUDENTS WORKED IN FULL-TIME
WORK
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,
WHILE
Linking Words
 THE PERCENTAGES OF UNEMPLOYED AND PART-TIME
WORK
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 OVER
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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ONE
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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TENTH, AT 12% AND 15% RESPECTIVELY. STUDENTS WHO WORKED
IN
Change preposition
apply
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FULL-TIME ACCOUNTED FOR 8% AND THE SAME FIGURE WAS OBSERVED IN
NOT
Correct article usage
THE NOT
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 KNOWN AND 5% PIE
CHART
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 DERIVED FROM POSTGRADUATES WHO
EMPLOYED
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WERE EMPLOYED
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 IN
PART- TIME
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PART-TIME
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WORK
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. TURNING TO THE
TABLE
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,
SALARY
Correct article usage
THE SALARY
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 OF
GRADUATES
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 WHO WORKED IN
GOVERNMENT
Correct article usage
THE GOVERNMENT
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 SECTOR WAS MORE THAN 100.000 DOLLARS, WHICH LEAD THE
TABLE
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 JUST
BEING
Unnecessary verb
apply
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AT 50%,
COMPARING
Wrong verb form
COMPARED
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 TO FREELANCE CONSULTANTS AT 40%.
BY
Linking Words
CONTRAST
Add a comma
CONTRAST,
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 PRIVATE COMPANIES
WAS
Correct subject-verb agreement
WERE
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 THE LEAST FAVOURED AT 30%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, graduates, table, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
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