May people prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life , whereas others prefer to c h a n g e the type of work. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion.
In
this
fast-paced life, many of them likes
Change the verb form
like
work
in the same Fix the infinitive
to work
companey
for their whole life, Correct your spelling
company
however
, few of them likes
to Replace the word
like
work
in a various companey
in order to enhance their experties and gain more experience in one field. If pondered, I personally agree with the latter opinion. My view is justified in Correct your spelling
company
companies
further
paragraphs.
On the one hand, there are a plethora of consequences why folks are prefer
to spend their whole life in the same Change the verb form
prefer
work-place
. Correct your spelling
workplace
Firstly
, they are feeling more comfortable. In other words
, working with the same company for the
longer period of time, employers are feeling more comfortable as they have colleagues with whom they can talk and spend their leisure time Correct article usage
a
and
which can help to ameliorate their mood. Correct word choice
apply
Secondly
, staying
in the same workplace, they can get senior Change preposition
by staying
position
or Fix the agreement mistake
positions
can
get Verb problem
apply
more
Correct word choice
higher
salary
and health benefits. Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
For instance
, because of the
inflation, everything is getting expensive, so, everyone needs more money to Correct article usage
apply
fulfill
their basic needs.
Change the spelling
fulfil
On the other hand
, some of the people are counter argue
that changing Add a hyphen
counter-argue
work
after some time is fruitful. To add to this
, experiencing different work
not
only helpful for Add a missing verb
is not
boost
one's confidence but Wrong verb form
boosting
also
beneficial for foster
their knowledge. Wrong verb form
fostering
Furthermore
, employeer
can get a chance to meet Correct your spelling
employer
employees
Correct article usage
the paramout
paramout
of different workers with different skills. Because of that, they can get Correct your spelling
paramount
paramour
motivation
to learn more to look better Add an article
the motivation
infront
of everyone.
Correct your spelling
in front
To conclude
, indeed, Although
, with changing work
they can get more opportunity in terms of knowledge, they still choose to work
in the same place till they retired
. Wrong verb form
retire
However
, I believe that experiencing work
with
different places Change preposition
in
are
more advantageous.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Submitted by pramodv997 on
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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and correct simple errors like subject-verb agreement ('many of them like' instead of 'many of them likes') and spelling mistakes ('company', 'expertise').
Task Achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by providing more detailed explanations for both sides of the argument and supporting them with examples. This will help to demonstrate clear, comprehensive ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Smooth transitions between ideas can be improved to enhance the logical structure of your essay. Consider using more linking words and phrases.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your argument well.
Task Achievement
You have successfully attempted to present both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers relevant points regarding why some people prefer staying in the same job, and why others prefer change, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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