NOWADAYS, MORE PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING TO SOCIALIZE ONLINE RATHER THAN FACE TO FACE. IS THIS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

#people #face #development

Today,

people

all over the world have a chance to meet new friends on online platforms

such

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

and

due to

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

, most of them are chosen more to meet

people

virtually than in real life.

However

this

new way of meeting

people

is influencing them negatively for several reasons that will be discussed in

this

essay. Socializing online to make new friends has become a threat

for

Change preposition

show examples

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

development

due to

the fact of losing social skills and meeting dangerous

people

who have a fake profile.First of all, losing social skills, which enable the human species to cooperate in order to survive, is seriously alarming. To give an example, the young population who choose to socialize online are not anymore able to meet

people

in person, because they are not used to coping with

this

situation.

In other words

, they have become anxious

people

and are too shy to face others. Losing

this

skill by using online platforms will decrease the capacity

of relating

Change preposition

to relate

show examples

to each other and

also

to survive as a cooperative group of

people

. Another reason for

this

negative phenomenon is the risk of meeting fake

people

online who put the person in an endangered situation.

For instance

, the media

such

as television, has been talking about some

people

who died because they met a person in an online app and trusted without even knowing that they were in danger.

To conclude

, these negative factors, the loss of social skills and the threat of meeting dangerous

people

, are going against the progression of the species and stopping

consequently

the development of human beings.

Submitted by chiaracavallo02 on Thu Nov 21 2024

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Task Response

The essay does well in addressing the task, clearly stating that the tendency to socialize online has negative impacts and providing reasons. However, it could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of both positive and negative aspects of online socializing to present a balanced view, unless the task specifically asks to choose one perspective.

Task Response

Try to provide specific examples for both the loss of social skills and the dangers of meeting people online to strengthen your argument. This will make your points more convincing and comprehensive.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the paragraphs could be more tightly connected, and transitions between ideas should be more evident to enhance coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance coherence by using more linking words or phrases, such as 'moreover', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand', to clearly signal the relationship between ideas and paragraphs.

Task Response

The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by posing the topic as a negative phenomenon and outlining the areas to be discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion successfully summarizes the negative impacts discussed in the essay, reinforcing the main thesis.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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NOWADAYS, MORE PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING TO SOCIALIZE ONLINE RATHER THAN FACE TO FACE. IS THIS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

today, students can benefits from widers information through internet. some people think that tradition schooling disappear soon. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many young people are not interested in reading the newspapers and watching new on television. Give reasons for this and proffer solution to this problem.

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Some people see sports only as a leisure activity while others believes sports play a more important role .Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sample Question Version 05(Discuss both views) : In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views.