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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Students at schools and the university learn far more from lessons with the teachers than from other source (such as internet and television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #schools #university #lessons #teachers #source #internet #television
some
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 believe that learning at
shcools
Correct your spelling
schools
school
 and
take
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taking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 from the
teachers
 better than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern sources like the mobile phone ,and television.and the
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
 believe that the
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
way of learning is useful .
due to
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that the new
souerces
Correct your spelling
sources
 give you a
lot
 of advantages than the old teaching .
firstly
, the development
in
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of
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 the modern
theaching
Correct your spelling
teaching
 has become nowadays , the best way to the
puplis
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pupils
public
 to learn . you can easily
found
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find
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 the information you searching
of
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for
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,
however
the
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apply
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modern sources
has
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have
show examples
 a
lot
 of benefits like safe-time .learning
form
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from
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 the internet
such
 as youtube gives a
comprenhsive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
 explanation . on the
another
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other
show examples
 hand , the
advantages
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advantage
show examples
 of learning from
teachers
 , the
students
 can discuss the lesson directly with the tutor.
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
 the tutor
give
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gives
show examples
 you a
lot
 of tricks to how to solve the question
.teacher
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teacher
 often
give
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gives
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 a lesson with a unique method the
students
 can understand easily. but
also
let
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lets
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 the
students
 understand the meaning of the question.
however
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however,
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 the tutor can give you a
lot
 of examples to solve the question.
last
and
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 not least ,
students
 believe that
the
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apply
show examples
learning
form
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from
show examples
 the
intwernet
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Internet
 brings more benefits than learning from
teachers
 directly ,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aothers
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others
 believe that the
teachers
 become the main source of teaching , I believe that
the
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apply
show examples
modern sources nowadays ,
has
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have
show examples
 become the main source of knowledge.
Submitted by superalialhaddad on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Consider using clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly through your points.
task achievement
Focus on structuring your arguments more clearly. Make sure each paragraph contains a single, clear idea supported by details or examples.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas more thoroughly. Providing specific examples or evidence for your points will strengthen your argument.
language
Avoid generalizations and strive for precision in your language. This includes correct spelling and use of articles.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents an introduction and a conclusion, providing a sense of structure.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to consider both sides of the argument, which is good critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pedagogy
  • Motivation
  • Interactive learning
  • Curriculum-based
  • Passive consumption
  • Digital literacy
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving
  • Feedback mechanism
  • Misinformation
  • Biases
  • Technological advancements
  • Educational methodologies
  • Guidance
  • Structured learning
  • Reliable sources
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