Nowadays young people know less about traditions and culture than in the past. What are the reasons for it? Is this a positive development or a negative development?

Culture
and
traditions
are less
recognize
Wrong verb form
recognised
show examples
by young people nowadays. Huge
digitalization
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
this
phenomena, which make
culture
and
traditions
are seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
very old mindset. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the negative impact,
actually
Add a comma
actually,
show examples
digitalization
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
tool to keep and
introducing
Wrong verb form
introduce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditions
and
culture
. It's very concerning, people
not
Change the verb form
are not
were not
show examples
prepared
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
towards the development of
digitalization
. Young people are very familiar with
digitalization
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes them very
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
with the current
trending
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
. But the trend seems reducing the interest of the youth to understand their
traditions
and
culture
.
Culture
and
traditions
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
very
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old values compared to the current trend, for that reason why
culture
and
traditions
are less recognizable by the young
generation
. Actually,
digitalization
and
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
of technology should be the one of tools that keep
culture
for being
recognize
Wrong verb form
recognised
show examples
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
.
Biggest
Correct article usage
The biggest
show examples
challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
show examples
of
this
digitalization
is preparing the next
generation
to prevent the bad impact
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
digitalization
. The prepared
generation
should be the one who can maximize the advantages of technology and
minimizuing
Correct your spelling
minimise
the bad
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
, especially to keep the
culture
and tradition. Despite of youngster view
culture
and
traditions
are not relevant anymore, a lot of things that we can do to
introducing
Wrong verb form
introduce
show examples
culture
and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
it familiar for them, The conclusion is,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
using of
digitalization
should be the tools that lead
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
to understand their
culture
and
traditions
. Preparing the next
generation
to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
their
culture
is very important,
too
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
keep our
culture
until a thousand years ahead.
Submitted by arjoensyahananta168 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to develop your arguments in a more structured way. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and it connects logically to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Some of the ideas in the essay are not fully clear. Make sure to explain your points thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion well.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the question: reasons for the phenomenon and its nature (positive or negative).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Globalization
  • Digital platforms
  • Modernity
  • Educational priorities
  • Marketable skills
  • Cultural identity
  • Social cohesion
  • Ethnocentrism
  • Cultural extinction
  • Traditional practices
  • Interconnected world
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