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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 depicts
destinations
Correct article usage
the destinations
show examples
 of Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 after completing their undergraduate degree program,
while
Linking Words
 the table provides information on
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of salary brackets for three types of
employment
Use synonyms
 – freelance consulting, government sector and private companies.
It is clear that
Linking Words
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 portion of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 found
employment
Use synonyms
, both full and part-time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
combination
Add an article
a combination
the combination
show examples
 of working part-time and pursuing postgrad study has the lowest percentage in the
chart
Use synonyms
. In terms of salaries,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 sector has the highest earning potential,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by freelance consultancy and
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private companies trailing behind. Looking more closely at the bar
chart
Use synonyms
, we can see that about half of
graduates
Use synonyms
, 52%, found full-time
employment
Use synonyms
,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by 15% working part-time.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
portion
Add an article
a portion
the portion
show examples
 of unemployed
graduates
Use synonyms
 constituted 8%. Interestingly,
destination
Add an article
the destination
a destination
show examples
 of 8% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 was unknown, and only 5% of the
chart
Use synonyms
 accounts for anthropologists
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 worked part-time
while
Linking Words
 doing postgrad study.
According to
Linking Words
 the table,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 earned more than
USD
Use synonyms
 75,000 after 5
years’
Change noun form
years
show examples
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
. Out of the three
employment
Use synonyms
 types,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 sector is the one with the highest remuneration - 50% of its anthropologists had a salary of
USD
Use synonyms
 100,000 and higher.
By contrast
Linking Words
, private companies were paying less, the largest portion, 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, earned between
USD
Use synonyms
 50,000 and
USD
Use synonyms
 75,000.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, graduates, employment, usd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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