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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the information about a US bus company between 1999 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #information #bus #company #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table beneath
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 a US bus firm data between 1999, and 2003. I will elaborate on it
further
Linking Words
 in the following paragraphs.
Overall
Linking Words
, as we can see in 1999,
Use synonyms
performance
Add an article
the performance
show examples
 of
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 arriving on time was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 and the number of
complaints
Use synonyms
 from passengers
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 lowest
while
Linking Words
 the minimum
Use synonyms
complaints
Correct quantifier usage
number of complaints
show examples
 were in 2003.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,in 1999 as
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
 earlier arriving time of
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 was
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all years, (80% completing its
target
Use synonyms
 ) .Moving ahead,in 2000
performance
Use synonyms
 was least( around 30% )not fulfilling that
target
Use synonyms
 of
approximate
Change the word
approximately
show examples
 45%
while
Linking Words
 in 2001 and 2000
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the score, and the
target
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 pretty much
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 (around 40% )achieving the
target
Use synonyms
 . Probing ahead in 2003, the
performance
Use synonyms
 was higher than
Use synonyms
target
Add an article
the target
show examples
 (
performance
Use synonyms
 = 80% and
target
Use synonyms
 = 35% ).
Therefore
Linking Words
, in 1999 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
complain
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
.In 2000 and 2001 there were almost similar
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
complaints
Use synonyms
 (more than 20 ). Moving
further
Linking Words
 ,100
complaints
Use synonyms
 were registered in 2002 .Talking about 2003
although
Linking Words
 arriving time was approx 80%
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there were maximum
Use synonyms
complaints
Correct quantifier usage
number of complaints
show examples
 reported in that year (around 120. )
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words performance, complaints, target with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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