Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people think that
parents
should allow their children to make daily decisions, but others are concerned that doing this
can raise an
mean behaviour in them. Personally, Change the article
a
i
believe that we should let them make their own choices. In Change the capitalization
I
further
paragraphs, I am going to elaborate on my views with relevant examples to support them.
On one hand, children's
who grew Change noun form
children
by
extremely strict Change preposition
up with
parents
tend to be social introverts. Moreover
, they had to admit all of their parents
strict rules and regulations as their Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
offsprings
, despite Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
of
what they wanted to do. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, they might be particularly skilled in art
and Fix the agreement mistake
arts
craft
or working with technology. Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
However
, their parents
want them to become doctor
or engineers. Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
Furthermore
, as they are unable to pursue their own interests, they develop a lack of ambition. Therefore
, it is crucial to allow kids to make decision
or think about what they want to do from an early age.
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
On the other hand
, individuals who grew up with their parents
in a quite open relationship, often show lack
Correct article usage
a lack
sympathy
for others. Change preposition
of sympathy
This
occurs because they always recieves
what they want from their guardian and do not have to worry if it Correct your spelling
receives
receive
was
right or wrong. Honestly, it is their Wrong verb form
is
guardians
fault, not their own. Elders should teach kids whether or not they are being logicalChange to a genitive case
guardian's
guardians'
,
so that they understand that things don't always go the way it does in movies. Remove the comma
apply
Besides
, it is also
vital to manage some of their early emotions and guide their interpersonal development.
In conclusion, kids always behave and act the way their parents
do. So it is their guardians
responsibility to guide them and always make sure their juveniles are on the right track. Change to a genitive case
guardian's
guardians'
Therefore
, parents
should always support their offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
while
taking actions
.Fix the agreement mistake
action
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on
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task achievement
Clarify the argument more clearly in the introduction. Make sure that both views are introduced before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Strengthen arguments with specific examples. For instance, mention specific situations illustrating children's development when allowed to make decisions.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring each point directly supports the main argument. This will improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words or phrases to guide the reader from one idea to another smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively provides a summary of the main ideas.
task achievement
The argument in favor of allowing children to make choices is presented with consideration of real-world implications.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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