Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many people think that
parents
Use synonyms
should allow their children to make daily decisions, but others are concerned that doing
this
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can raise
an
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a
show examples
mean behaviour in them. Personally,
i
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I
show examples
believe that we should let them make their own choices. In
further
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paragraphs, I am going to elaborate on my views with relevant examples to support them. On one hand,
children's
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children
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who grew
by
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up with
show examples
extremely strict
parents
Use synonyms
tend to be social introverts.
Moreover
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, they had to admit all of their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
strict rules and regulations as their
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
, despite
of
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apply
show examples
what they wanted to do.
For instance
Linking Words
, they might be particularly skilled in
art
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arts
show examples
and
craft
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crafts
show examples
or working with technology.
However
Linking Words
, their
parents
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want them to become
doctor
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doctors
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or engineers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as they are unable to pursue their own interests, they develop a lack of ambition.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to allow kids to make
decision
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decisions
show examples
or think about what they want to do from an early age.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals who grew up with their
parents
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in a quite open relationship, often show
lack
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a lack
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sympathy
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of sympathy
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for others.
This
Linking Words
occurs because they always
recieves
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receives
receive
what they want from their guardian and do not have to worry if it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
right or wrong. Honestly, it is their
guardians
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guardian's
guardians'
show examples
fault, not their own. Elders should teach kids whether or not they are being logical
,
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apply
show examples
so that they understand that things don't always go the way it does in movies.
Besides
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, it is
also
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vital to manage some of their early emotions and guide their interpersonal development. In conclusion, kids always behave and act the way their
parents
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do. So it is their
guardians
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guardian's
guardians'
show examples
responsibility to guide them and always make sure their juveniles are on the right track.
Therefore
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,
parents
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should always support their
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
while
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taking
actions
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action
show examples
.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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task achievement
Clarify the argument more clearly in the introduction. Make sure that both views are introduced before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Strengthen arguments with specific examples. For instance, mention specific situations illustrating children's development when allowed to make decisions.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring each point directly supports the main argument. This will improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words or phrases to guide the reader from one idea to another smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively provides a summary of the main ideas.
task achievement
The argument in favor of allowing children to make choices is presented with consideration of real-world implications.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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