The chart below show the levels of participation in education and science in devloping and industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. Some people belive that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

The chart below show the levels of participation in education and science in devloping and industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990.

Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below.

Some people belive that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Here,the graphs illustrate the information about different levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialized
countries
in
decads
Correct your spelling
decades
show examples
.
Overall
, it is worth noticing
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that participation in industrialised
countries
is skyrocketing
Wrong verb form
skyrocketed
show examples
in
period
Add an article
a period
the period
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
1980 to 1990. At a fleeting glance,
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
graph
demontrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
that,
Correct article usage
the avarage
show examples
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
years
of
scholling
Correct your spelling
schooling
in 1980 in developing
countries
was 2
years
of schooling where
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
industrialised
countries
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
nearest
Correct article usage
the nearest
show examples
to 9
years
of schooling.
Further
observing the graph shows
Correct article usage
an increasment
show examples
increasment
Correct your spelling
increase
in both
years
of schooling in 1990,
while
indusrialised
Correct your spelling
industrialised
industrialized
countries
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
peak in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
1990.
Moreover
, participation in scientists and technicians per 1000 people where 1000 per
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which was
shlightly
Correct your spelling
slightly
raised in 1990. As same industrialised
countries
were high.
Last
Change the article
The last
show examples
graph shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
150 Us
dollor
Correct your spelling
dollars
billionns
spned
Correct your spelling
spent
on research and
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
and which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
jumped fund in 1990.Only 50US $
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
was spent
show examples
in 1980 which
cleary
Correct your spelling
clearly
show examples
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
saw
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
in
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
countries
thus
,
reduce
Wrong verb form
thus reducing
show examples
money
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
on research and
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
in
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
1990. In
this
state-of-the-art epoch education
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
a crucial role and each and every
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
to
be educate
Change the verb form
be educated
show examples
.Once
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
of thought claim that,teaching offspring at
home
is best for a child's
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
while
others argue that it is indispensable for
children
to go to
school
.
This
essay shall discuss
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons of both methods and it will be articulated in forthcoming paragraphs. My view will
bw
Correct your spelling
be
mentioned in
conclusion
Correct article usage
the conclusion
show examples
. To commence with,
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
is important for
children
.
To
Change the verb form
Studying
show examples
study
at
home
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
very few advantages to
study
home
rather than
school
.
Firstly
,
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
and family member can take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
about
Change preposition
through
show examples
education
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
, going to
school
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
learn
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
with perfect pedagogy.
Secondly
, a child can learn
peacfully
Correct your spelling
peacefully
at
home
.
While
in
school
have
co-curriculm
Correct your spelling
co-curricular
co-curriculum
activities which
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
strengthens
other skills
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
.
Lastly
, at
home
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
study
at
theri
Correct your spelling
their
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
time. In
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
they follow
strict
Correct article usage
a strict
show examples
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
and they teach them
according to
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
tabale
Correct your spelling
table
. On the other side, every positive side
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
dark
Add an article
a dark
show examples
side to
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
in
school
and at
home
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some drawbacks. In
school
sometimes
children
feel
monotonus
Correct your spelling
monotonous
. At
home
Add a comma
home,
show examples
they distract easily and can not focus on
study
.
Moreover
, in
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
they have to do homework and without it students get punishment. At
home
they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
have to give any exams. Schools have many subjects and
due to
that they
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not give personal attention to
children
. To recapitulate, in my perspective
school
is
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
where pebbles are polished and
dimonds
Correct your spelling
diamonds
are dimmed. Schools give
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
atmosphere to learners and
also
enhance other skills and aid them to make successful
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. Where at
home
study
can
Verb problem
is
show examples
not possible, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of things which disturb
while
doing
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
.
Submitted by kakshpatel16916 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, years, school, home, children, study with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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