IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the spending of British students from 1996 to 1999 on the 8 various categories of products and services.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest proportion of their income was used for accommodation, food/bills/household goods, and entertainment,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest percentage was allocated for course
expenditure
Use synonyms
, essential travel, non-essential travel, children, and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. Focusing first on the most significant
expenditure
Use synonyms
, in 1996, over 25% went on entertainment,
while
Linking Words
 after three years, the corresponding figure increased by roughly 5%. As for accommodation, food/bills/household goods, in 1996, between 20 and 25 per cent of students' money was used on these categories,
whereas
Linking Words
 by 1999, these sums dropped slightly, to approximately 20%. As for the remaining categories, in 1996, course
expenditure
Use synonyms
 accounted for 10% of general expenses, and for the following
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 proportion decreased marginally to nearly 7%. Regarding essential and non-essential
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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, less than 5% of
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 young people spent on them throughout the period. With respect to other
Use synonyms
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
, roughly 10 and 15 per cent of their revenue students allocate for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 needs. Notably, almost none of
youth
Add an article
the youth
show examples
 had children during their
studentshood
Correct your spelling
studenthood
 over the 3-year period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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