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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below gives information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The chart below gives information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
#information #ages #population #yemen #projections #features #comparison
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The pie charts offer historical data and insights about
age
Use synonyms
 distribution in Italy and
Yemen
Use synonyms
 for
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2000 and 2050. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no significant changes in the
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
very
Add an article
the very
a very
show examples
 old
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
, by only
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 increase it would
reached
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
 5.7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
, compared to
Yemen
Use synonyms
, the portion of class over 60 is significant in the Italian
sosiaty
Correct your spelling
society
, almost one-fourth of
Correct article usage
the popilation
show examples
popilation
Correct your spelling
population
 is in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 ending decades,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 will rise to 42% in the
last
Linking Words
 year. In the first year, children under 14
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made
over
Change preposition
up over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the Asian country's population;
however
Linking Words
, in the future, well under
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the population will consist of
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 over 14 and under 60.
While
Linking Words
predections
Correct your spelling
predictions
 illustrate that the
Yemenian
Correct your spelling
Yemeni
 young and middle
age
Use synonyms
 population may increase by nearly 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 category will
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 a
noteable
Correct your spelling
notable
noticeable
 decrease of approximately 15% in 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, middle
age
Use synonyms
 people will increase in
Yemen
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in Italy, senility will be
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 issue in the future.
Submitted by faraisam33 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, yemen, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Age structure
  • Dependency ratio
  • Life expectancy
  • Birth rate
  • Socioeconomic development
  • Projections
  • Developing country
  • Developed country
  • Youthful population
  • Aged population
  • Population aging
  • Pension systems
  • Healthcare services
  • Economic conditions
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