Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend a school. Which do you think is better?

homeschooled
children
my
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may
show examples
receive
personolezed
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personalised
education tailored to their
strenghts
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strengths
and weaknesses, allowing for a flexible learning
pece
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space
which might suıt their individual needs better.
Realy
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Really
show examples
take comfortable education but has a advantages and disadvantage I think has
trhe
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the
benefits of homeschooled first
children
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being beter
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beter
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better
than focused normal school
bcause
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because
take relax and alone take
lesseon
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lessons
.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
benefits
children
has
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have
show examples
so
muc
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much
time for other
activites
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activities
thats
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that's
that
realy
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really
good for
children
and parents.
Last
advatages
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advantages
advantage
children
have very good study programs and
routine
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routines
show examples
.
Thre
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There
show examples
disadvatges
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disadvantages
of homeschooled. First
childeren
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children
not
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do not
show examples
meet
others
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other
show examples
kids and
not
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do not
show examples
have
firend bcaus
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friends because
not going
schols
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to school
. second
disavantages
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disadvantages
disadvantaged
child not
has
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having
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a
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apply
show examples
self-discipline
thats
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that's
that
realy
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really
problem
fot
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for
future life. the
last
problems
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problem
show examples
for parents not
has
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having
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time
their
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in their
show examples
life always focused child and
study
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studies
show examples
.
İn
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İn,
show examples
my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
beter
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better
education used both
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
homeschooled
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of homeschooled
show examples
and normal school
thats
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that's
show examples
way
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the way
show examples
ımprowed all
skils
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skills
show examples
for
chidrens
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children
.
Submitted by hasanckmk236 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear and concise introduction that outlines your stance and what the essay will cover. This will guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop more structured paragraphs, clearly separate different points about homeschooling and regular schooling. Use topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Expand on your points by giving more concrete examples or experiences to support your opinions. This will make your arguments more convincing.
language use
Work on sentence structure and grammar. Avoid small spelling and grammar mistakes to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and expand your conclusion to summarize effectively the main points and restate your position.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, considering the benefits and disadvantages of homeschooling.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good attempt to balance between homeschooling and regular schooling methods.
coherence cohesion
There is a reasonable level of organization with an introduction, body, and conclusion, even if it needs further development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized education
  • flexible learning pace
  • peer pressure
  • social development
  • diverse range of ideas
  • comprehensive education
  • specialized educators
  • extracurricular activities
  • traditional schools
  • structured environment
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