The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spend doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summaries #information #features #comparison

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The first line graph illustrates the proportion of households

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

owned three electrical devices (washing machines, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners) from 1920 to 2019, and the other line graph demonstrates the average number of hours that each household

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

spent on doing their relevant duties in their house in a typical week by 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be clearly seen that the percentage of having these devices had

climed

Correct your spelling

climbed

claimed

by 2019,

while

Linking Words

the amount of time spent on doing housework in

house

Correct article usage

the house

show examples

plummet

Wrong verb form

plummeted

show examples

during

this

Linking Words

period. It

also

Linking Words

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

apparently

Replace the word

apparent

show examples

extracted

Verb problem

apply

show examples

that

refrigerators'

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerator'

show examples

owners reached the peak in 2019,

although

Linking Words

these types of electric devices had almost no

client

Fix the agreement mistake

clients

show examples

in 1920.

According to

Linking Words

the first graph, the proportions of both refrigerators and vacuum cleaners, which were about %3 and %30 in 1920 in order, soar dramatically until 1960 to approximately %90 and %70 respectively,

then

Linking Words

increased moderately to almost %100 for both of them.

In addition

Linking Words

, the percentage of using washing machines which was around %40 in 1920 had rocketed to more than %73 by 2019,

however

Linking Words

, it faced a

little

Correct word choice

small

show examples

dip between 1960 and 1980.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the number of hours per week that households spent their routines in their home had dropped by 1960 from about %50 (the maximum in 1920) to %20.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

decline had continued steadily by 2019 when was the less just above %10.

Submitted by mortezashamsa on Sat Nov 23 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Nowadays as a part of the education process students are working for a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting is very important. why might this be the case Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?