IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows how a simple water filter is constructed and how it functions to produce clean drinking water.

The diagram below shows how a simple water filter is constructed and how it functions to produce clean drinking water.
The diagram illustrates the steps and the simple
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 involved in the production of clean drinking
water
Use synonyms
. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, shows that, two
plastic
Use synonyms
drum
Change to a plural noun
drums
show examples
 are the main equipment for filtering
water
Use synonyms
,
furthermore
Linking Words
, three different materials are used (sand, charcoal, gravel). In the first stage of producing
water
Use synonyms
, the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 is poured
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the big
plastic
Use synonyms
 drum,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
pass
Change the verb form
passes
show examples
 away from three different layers,
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 layer includes sand,
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
 one is charcoal and the
last
Linking Words
 one is gravel. These materials help to produce clean
water
Use synonyms
 and clean it. After passing through these materials the filtered
water
Use synonyms
flowing
Wrong verb form
flows
show examples
 to a
plastic
Use synonyms
 barrel which,
connect
Correct subject-verb agreement
connects
show examples
 two drums together. The second
storge
Correct your spelling
storage
show examples
 drum is placed in front of
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other drum
Change the wording
another drum
other drums
show examples
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
is shown
show examples
 in the picture it has a
plastic
Use synonyms
 lid too. The prepared
water
Use synonyms
 is
storage
Replace the word
stored
show examples
 in the second drum and it is ready for drinking.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, plastic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gravel
  • sand
  • activated charcoal
  • particulates
  • contaminants
  • debris
  • impurities
  • sequentially
  • absorbs odors
  • improves taste
  • clean container
  • reservoir
  • gravity
  • filtration layers
  • cylindrical
  • collected
  • drinking water
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