IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows a rise in homeless persons across England from 2010 to 2016

The line graph shows a rise in homeless persons across England from 2010 to 2016
#line #rise #persons #england
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The line chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 information on the number of homeless
people
Use synonyms
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
England
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that quantity of
houseless
Correct your spelling
homeless
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people
Use synonyms
 in
England
Use synonyms
 and Rest of the
England
Use synonyms
 increased over the period,
while
Linking Words
 in London it remained more or less the same, and later it
grows
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 steadily. At the start of the period,
England
Use synonyms
 was the most spreading place for unsheltered
people
Use synonyms
. UK
were taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 second place
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
 rate,
while
Linking Words
 London had
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
the minimum
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 amount of homeless
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start of the period. With regards to the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of houseless
people
Use synonyms
 in
England
Use synonyms
 was around 1650 in 2010 and
then
Linking Words
 experienced
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
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 rise and
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 just over 4000
people
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Likewise
Linking Words
, just under
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1500
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 no had houses in 2010 and it skyrocketed twice and reached just over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
3000
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the amount of homeless in London was nearly 498 persons. Until 2013 it
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 more or less the same,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 from 2013 it steadily
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up twice and reached 1000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. In one year from 2015 –
2016
Add a comma
2016,
show examples
 it remained unchanged.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, england with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "more or less" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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