IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows a rise in homeless persons across England from 2010 to 2016

The line graph shows a rise in homeless persons across England from 2010 to 2016
#line #rise #persons #england
The line chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 information on the number of homeless
people
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
England
 between 2010 and 2016.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that quantity of
houseless
Correct your spelling
homeless
show examples
people
 in
England
 and Rest of the
England
 increased over the period,
while
 in London it remained more or less the same, and later it
grows
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 steadily. At the start of the period,
England
 was the most spreading place for unsheltered
people
. UK
were taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 second place
in
Change preposition
at
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this
 rate,
while
 London had
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
the minimum
show examples
 amount of homeless
people
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start of the period. With regards to the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of houseless
people
 in
England
 was around 1650 in 2010 and
then
 experienced
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
show examples
 rise and
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 just over 4000
people
 in the
last
 year.
Likewise
, just under
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1500
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 no had houses in 2010 and it skyrocketed twice and reached just over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
3000
people
.
On the other hand
, the amount of homeless in London was nearly 498 persons. Until 2013 it
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 more or less the same,
however
Add a comma
however,
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 from 2013 it steadily
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up twice and reached 1000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
. In one year from 2015 –
2016
Add a comma
2016,
show examples
 it remained unchanged.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, england with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "more or less" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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