There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use death penalty as a deterrent, many believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #measures

Statistics show that the number of serious crimes

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

each year has been increasing.

This

has caused

people

to look for solutions to

this

problem and some say that the

death

penalty

is a good deterrent that will contribute to reducing those crimes.

While

others believe that alternative solutions should be explored first. The

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

say that the

death

penalty

is a good deterrent do have a point. If criminals knew that the

death

penalty

is a punishment that could be considered as a punishment for their crimes, they would no doubt think

think

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

twice before

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

them.

This

doesn't necessarily mean that it's a good idea. The group

that is

against the addition of the

death

penalty

Correct your spelling

show examples

deterranct

Correct your spelling

deterrent

deterrence

advicate

Correct your spelling

advocate

advice

for other measures. they say that

rehibilitation

Correct your spelling

rehabilitation

should be the first option. That

people

should always get a second chance. And second chances and reversing decisions can't be done with a final solution like the

death

penalty

. Another side of

this

is that not every man convicted is guilty. False

convitions

Correct your spelling

convictions

conditions

do happen and they

reversed

Wrong verb form

reverse

show examples

on a daily basis. The inclusion of the

death

penalty

presents the risk of killing an innocent man and

that is

unacceptable. My opinion on the matter

alligns

Correct your spelling

aligns

align

more with those against the

death

penalty

. I believe that the

death

penalty

is too extreme of

measure

Correct article usage

a measure

show examples

to take, especially when you consider the risks of the punishment taking an

innocents

Change the noun form

innocent

show examples

man's life. There's

also

the fact that

such

a power could be abused by corrupt

people

who abuse the justice system to eliminate those they dislike.

Submitted by superalialhaddad on Sat Nov 23 2024

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Task Achievement

You have presented a balanced discussion of both sides but ensure that each point is supported with detailed examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical flow of your essay by using linking phrases consistently throughout your paragraphs.

Task Achievement

You have clearly presented both sides of the argument and provided your own opinion, well done!

Coherence and Cohesion

A clear introduction and conclusion have contributed to the overall structure of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use death penalty as a deterrent, many believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of sociual media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantages?

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What types of changes are occurring? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

In theie advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.