Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years, governments have taken on lots of responsibilities.
Such
as taking care
of the environment
. However
, people have different views on this
situation. Some of them think that the citizens
should be responsible for the environment
. Nevertheless
, some people say that governments should take care
of the environment
. I firmly believe that it is necessary to
the Change preposition
for
government
should take responsibility for the environment
.
On the one hand, the government
should be responsible for the environment
. For instance
, the roads and the buildings
must be organized by the government
. If the government
doesn't take responsibility, it might cause chaos. To elaborate, in spite of complicated ruined roads the deaths that car accidents cause will increase. Additionally
, illegally built buildings
must be detected.
Because these buildings
can collapse easily in earthquakes. Namely, these buildings
must be demolished by the government
safely.
On the other hand
, citizens
should be aware of taking care
of the environment
. For instance
, citizens
should not throw trashes
all over the road. Because of Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
this
problem, the global warming has been increased. Additionally
, the citizens
should be aware of the fuel-working cars that have been causing air pollution. Namely, they should switch to electric cars or they should use public transport more to prevent this
problem.
In conclusion, some people agree that it is citizen's
responsibility to take Correct article usage
the citizen's
care
of the environment
. Although
my view is that the situation should be controlled by the government
,
because it would be more effective on the Remove the comma
apply
environment
.Submitted by mcqueensever
on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more logically by using linking words and phrases effectively. Try to improve the logical flow between the paragraphs, as it is crucial for maintaining coherence in your writing.
Task Achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more comprehensively and with greater precision. Some parts could benefit from more detailed explanation, and check to avoid sentence fragments such as abrupt sentences with vocabulary like 'Such as taking care of the environment'.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more examples and elaboration to support your main points clearly. This will strengthen your overall argument and task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting the main ideas and summarizing your stance.
Task Achievement
You addressed both views of the topic, demonstrating a complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
Good awareness of the topic’s importance is shown, especially on issues like road safety, building regulations, and pollution control.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.