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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart gives information about how many men are addicted to cigarettes in seven different countries,
as well as
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 in the world, in two different years: 2000 and 2015. The statistic is given as a percentage of
male
Add an article
the male
show examples
 population.
Overall
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, the percentage of male smokers decreased between 2000 and 2015. Egypt and Lebanon are the only two countries that have seen a rise,
while
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 Cuba remained nearly steady and others fell. In 2002 the percentage of male smokers in Egypt was 35%,
while
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 Lebanon had nearly the same one. After 15 years Egypt has risen to just under 50%, meanwhile, Lebanon increased to around 44%. The world average fell from nearly 42% to around 34%. The largest drop was seen by Bangladesh. In 2000 it started with over 60% and touched 39% in 2015.
Similarly
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, Armenia dropped from approximately 66% to just above 50%.
On the other hand
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, Cuba saw the most marginal decrease with nearly a 2% drop, approximately from 54% to 52%. Mexico and Australia have seen a similar drop, they respectively decreased by around 15% and 11%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart, percentage, adult male smokers
  • world average, increased, decreased
  • tobacco consumption, lung cancer
  • public health, awareness campaigns
  • government policy, smoking bans
  • health risks, nicotine, tobacco industry
  • chart analysis, data comparison
  • statistical trend, significant fluctuation
  • stagnation, steady rise, moderate fall
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